OH.2.B.FIT

at 9:45 PM

After I made the Pecan & Oats topping I wanted to put it on something. I decided to try it on an apple. It was awesome! Next time I'm going to put a stick in it and try coating the apple with Natural Peanut Butter, then rolling it in the Pecan & Oats. It's delicious just dipping too. The counts are the same for the topping. You just need to add in the counts for the peanut butter and apple. Enjoy!

at 2:54 PM

I got the idea for this recipe from Linda's site, but changed it a bit because I didn't have several of the ingredients. I've made it her way and this way and both ways are delicious. I added Steal Cut Rolled Oats too, which she didn't add. I wanted to add them is because they're good for you and have been shown to help lower Cholesterol. If this was less calories it would make a great cereal with Almond Milk. I miss cereal so I may try it as a treat sometime. It makes 10 servings, each serving is 3 tablespoons.

Pecans & Oats
7.25 oz Natural Pecans (raw and unsalted)
.25 cup Steal Cut Rolled Oats
.25 cup Flax Seed Meal
3 tbsp. Butter (I use salted)
1.5 tsp. Maple or Vanilla Extract
1/3 cup Splenda (or the equivalent of liquid Splenda like Sweetzfree which has no carbs)

Preheat over to 300º. Melt the butter in a microwave safe cup. Add the Extract and liquid Splenda to the melted butter and mix well. Put chopped Pecans, Oats and Flax Seed Meal in large bowl. Coat with butter mixture. Mix well. Pour and spread mixture on lined cookie sheet. Put in over and turn mix every few minutes (at least once during cooking time). Bake for 10-15 minutes. Refrigerate in sealed container. Use as a topping on Plain Greek Yogurt or Low Carb Ice Cream. Can also be used as a topping on low carb pancakes! You can also sprinkle cinnamon on top while you're mixing it. Enjoy!

Serving 3 tbsp.
199 calories
3.5 net carbs (Add another carb if you use Spenda. I use liquid and it has zero carbs).

Here it is ready to refrigerate...

Here it is as a topping on my Greek Yogurt...

at 4:09 PM

I just LOVE Almond Milk! I had it about a year or so ago, and lately I've been craving it so I went and got some. It's really delicious and filling! I get the Unsweetened Vanilla, and not the one they keep with the regular Milk. That one they add sugar to. The one on the shelves doesn't have sugar. It's 1 net carb per serving and the whole box carton is 4 net carbs! I like stuff sweet so I add Da Vinci Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup (a tsp. per serving). I think it's a great alternative if you're missing milk. They also have Unsweetened Chocolate Almond Milk. Make sure you get unsweetend and always check the nutritional label and ingredients. Enjoy!

at 3:30 PM

Hi all!
I found this recipe in a magazine a few weeks ago and it looked so yummy. I had to change a few things in it because it had things like bread crumbs and milk in it. It was also made with 1.5 pounds of beef and I only had a pound. I made it more like my own meatball recipe. The thing I loved and kept was the glaze you put on top of the mini loaves. It's very easy and very tasty! I would much rather have these over a hamburger any day! Makes 8 Servings. Each one was 178 Calories and 2 net carbs! It was a little under two carbs, but I always round up =) Enjoy!

Mini Meat Loaves

1 lb Ground Beef
2 Eggs
1 clove garlic
1/4 cup Onion diced/minced
.5 tsp Thyme
1/8 cup Parmesan Cheese
Salt and Pepper (to your own taste)

Sauce

3 tblsp Ketchup (low carb/low sugar)
2 tblsp Dijon Mustard
1 tsp Worcestershire Sauce

Directions
Preheat oven to 350*. Grease muffin pan (I use Pam). In a large bowl mix all the ingredients for the mini loaves (not the sauce). Divide meat mixture and make 8 balls, putting each in one of the muffin cups. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the meat is almost cooked. While the loaves are cooking, mix together in small bowl, all the ingredients for the Sauce. After baking coat each mini loaf with the sauce mixture (you can use a spoon or a brush). Put loaves back in oven for 10 more minutes (longer if it isn't completely cooked). You can pop mini loaf out with a knife or a fork. Serve! Makes 8 Servings.

***EDIT***

I made this again tonight and only used 1 egg instead of 2. It turned out very nice. I'll only use one egg from now on, but you can use 2 =)

Before

Sauce

After

This is the Nutritional Info for the whole recipe. You just need to divide it into 8 =)
2 net carbs for each mini loaf!

	Grams	Calories	%-Cals
Calories		1,429
Fat	105.9	954	67	%
Saturated	40.6	365	26	%
Polyunsaturated	4.0	36	3	%
Monounsaturated	41.8	376	26	%
Carbohydrate	15.2	58	4	%
Dietary Fiber	2.0
Protein	98.1	413	29	%
Alcohol	0.0	0	0	%

at 8:38 PM

I LOVE apples, but I'm picky and only like Fuji Apples =) I use to only eat Granny Smith, but found that I love the sweetness of Fuji Apples so much more. They're a little high in carbs, but very good for you. One small apple is 53 calories with 14.5 carbs and 2.5 grams of fiber making it 12 net carbs. For me it's worth it! It's nice when you're wanting something sweet and satisfying. I LOVE mine with peanut butter so I get in my fat and protein in too. Tonight I ate less that a half an apple with peanut butter and cinnamon & splenda sprinkled on top. It was delicious and healthy! I cut the apple thin, put peanut butter in between like a sandwich, then sprinkled the cinnamon and splenda over the top of it. Everyone loved it! =)

at 12:04 PM

Hi all,
I just threw this together for lunch yesterday and it was AMAZING! I loved it! I liked too that I got some fruit and veggies in. I have always loved Curry Chicken Salad, but the red pear, cabbage, onion and grapes really make it wonderful. Oh, and the jicama gives it a really nice crunch too! I love jicama and it's great to add to things. I use it in things like this instead of celery, but you can use celery too =) I had it today with apple instead of pear, and the counts are the same whether you use apple or pear. I used very little fruit...esp. the grapes because they are high in carbs, but you don't need them. If you don't use the grapes the carb count goes down 1.5 carbs so it would be 3 net carbs! The red pear or apple gives it a nice sweet flavor...I just had some grapes and decided to throw them in. I think it's my new favorite thing to eat! If I had some almonds or walnuts I would have thrown in a few of those too. I will next time =)

Niki's Curry Chicken Salad with Red Pear and Cabbage

Ingredients

2 oz cooked Chicken Breast - diced or shredded
.5-1 tbsp Mayonnaise
.5-1 tbsp Onion chopped finely (optional - red is good, but you can use any kind or none at all)
1 slice Jicama (optional - you can use more than a slice)
.5 oz Green Cabbage shredded
2 thin slices of Red Pear cut into chunks (or apple)
2 Grapes quartered (optional)
.5-1 tsp Curry Powder (season to your own taste)

Directions

Mix Chicken, mayo, onion and curry powder together in bowl. Put half of the shredded cabbage in the bottom of a bowl or plate (you don't have to, I just thought it made it look pretty...lol). Mix the rest of the cabbage and the jicama into the chicken salad. Put the chicken salad on top of cabbage in bowl or plate. Sprinkle with the pear and grapes (grapes are optional and you can use apple instead of pear). Serve! You can add nuts and or wrap it in a lettuce leaf! Just be sure to add them into your carb counts =) It's 214 calories and 4.5 net carbs! I added a picture and the nutritional info below. ENJOY!

	Grams	Calories	%-Cals
Calories		214
Fat	14.2	127	58	%
Saturated	2.1	19	9	%
Polyunsaturated	0.5	4	2	%
Monounsaturated	0.7	7	3	%
Carbohydrate	5.5	18	8	%
Dietary Fiber	1.0
Protein	17.6	75	34	%

at 10:36 AM

I LOVE these cookies (a little too much)! They're really easy to make with very few ingredients. I got the recipe from Linda's site =) I took a picture that I'll post at the end. Be careful with these. They are very easy to over eat...kinda like potato chips O_O Oh, I added a little SF Carmel Syrup which made them extra tasty, but they don't need it. Here it is...

PAULA'S MAGICAL PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES
1 cup creamy or crunchy peanut butter
1 1/3 cups granular Splenda or equivalent liquid Splenda
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
Extra granular Splenda for fork

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Combine all of the ingredients in a small mixing bowl; beat well with a spoon until it becomes a thick dough. Gently roll into 20 balls and place on a baking sheet. Or, use a 2-teaspoon cookie scoop to evenly measure the dough. Dip a fork in granular Splenda and make a criss-cross design by gently pressing into the balls of dough in alternating directions. Be gentle and dip the fork into Splenda frequently because the dough is very sticky. Bake at 350º for 12-15 minutes. Cool before removing from the baking sheet. Store in the freezer and do not thaw before eating.

Makes 20 small cookies
Can be frozen

With granular Splenda:
Per Cookie: 81 Calories; 6g Fat; 3g Protein; 4g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 3g Net Carbs
Per 2 Cookies: 162 Calories; 12g Fat; 7g Protein; 8g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 7g Net Carbs

With liquid Splenda:
Per Cookie: 75 Calories; 6g Fat; 3g Protein; 2g Carbohydrate; .5g Dietary Fiber; 1.5g Net carbs
Per 2 Cookies: 149 Calories; 12g Fat; 7g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 4g Net Carbs

YUM!

at 8:59 AM

Hi all,
I found this recipe on Linda's site. She didn't care for them very much, but I LOVED THEM. They are addictive for me so I have to watch it with them. They are kind of like nuts and I can just sit and eat them mindlessly. Next time I am going to add different spices to give them some "zing" =) BUT, they are delicious just with the salt too. I took a couple of pics, but with my camera phone so they don't look as good as I would have liked. Here is the recipe and pics! Enjoy =)

CHRIS'S UGLY GREEN BEAN SNACK

16 ounce package frozen whole green beans, do not thaw
2 tablespoons oil, about
Salt, to taste

Line a large baking sheet with heavy foil. Cut open the bag of green beans and pour in the oil. Close the bag and shake to coat the beans completely. Pour out onto the prepared baking sheet. Bake at 275º for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours or until the beans are very dark and crisp, but not burnt. Remove from the oven and immediately sprinkle with salt. Chris said that they can be stored at room temperature in an airtight container, but I don't recommend that unless yours are completely crisp and you live in a dry climate.

Makes about 2 cups or four 1/2-cup servings
Freezing not recommended

Per Serving: 98 Calories; 7g Fat; 2g Protein; 9g Carbohydrate; 3g Dietary Fiber; 6g Net Carbs

Before

After

at 8:29 AM

Hi all,
I know it has been a LONG time and I feel terrible that I have let everything slide for the past several months. I apologize to everyone that has been following and supporting me. So much has happened over the past several months. I FINALLY finished Phlebotomy school!!! =D I have been bad about looking for a job in Phlebotomy. I'm afraid I think. Change scares the crap out of me. I need to do it though, and I guess when I'm ready I will. I LOVE Phlebotomy, and I worked my ass of to get through school. My Manice Depressive Disorder has been bad again adn it has been lasting for far to long. I start a new med next week that I have been fighting with the Doctors about taking (I don't want to take it), but I guess that I need to really try something at this point *sigh*. My step dad, Robert passed away on December 27th. He had been so sick for so long with diabetes. It has been very hard on all of us, but at the same time it is a blessing that he isn't having to suffer anymore (he has been suffering for SO, SO long). I know he is at peace and that is comforting even though we all wish he was here =(

While I was doing my clinicals/internship I got lazy with my low carbing. I ate more nuts, Atkins bars, Larabars (click on Larabars. The Pecan Pie was my drug of choice...blah!), and sugar free candy. I didn't just eat these things I binged on the CONSTANTLY!!! I think one day I ate 5 Larabars (one right after the other). I was so sick with myself and I couldn't stop. I am still sugar free, but that is just one small piece to this puzzle for me. February first was 2 years Sugar Free and although I was happy about that I was putting on weight and binging. Binging has seemed to be a cycle that has been the hardest for me to stop. I have not done the one thing I preach about the most! I have flushed my own advice right down the toilet. SET YOURSELF UP TO SUCCEED!!! Only you can do it, no one else can do it for you. I know for me, that as long as I do this one thing I can not fail, but I chose not to and paid for it. I gained 18 pounds from October to March! That is a 27.8 pound gain from my lowest weight...almost 30 pounds! WTF is wrong with me?!?!?! I asked myself daily, and all I thought was "I just don't care". Now, I know that was more of my depression talking and not me, because I do care! I haven't come this far just to weigh 350+ pounds again! NEVER! I will never be that person again, but at the rate I was going I was about to come face to face with her again!

About a month and a half ago I started Induction again and didn't lose which scared the crap out of me! So I decided to try THE FAT FAST O_O Lord, it was terrible. I got to the middle of the 3rd day and had to eat. I was week, I felt like HELL!!! My heart was racing all the time...I was miserable. I thought about why Induction hadn't worked, that maybe it was me, something I was doing wrong, and there were a couple of things. I wasn't using FITDAY so I was still over eating, and I wasn't drinking all my water. I thought I could just do it my own way...NOT! So 3 weeks ago I got serious, said "Enough is enough" pulled out my Atkins book and started again. I put everything into FITDAY, I weighed and measurred all my food (I had stopped doing that too). My first week I lost 9 pounds! The second week I lost nothing, but I am sure it was my body adjusting to the 9 pound lost, and this past week I lost 3 pounds. I feel like I am finally on track AGAIN! I try very hard not to look at the gain as a failure, but as a reminder that I still have a lot of issues I need to deal with so that I can continue losing weight. That I need to always set myself up to succeed. I need to pack lunches, not run to the store next to my work and buy cans of nuts and Atkins bars. And exercise! Another thing I am working on AGAIN! I was so good about it and I slacked on that too. I can give you at least a million excuses for everything, but the truth is I just got lazy with everything, and I am still a binger. My Blog is called, "Confessions of an Emotional, Obsessive, Compulsive, Closet, Binge Eater" for a reason. I am an Emotional, Obsessive, Compulsive, Closet, Binge Eater, but I am trying to heal that part of me. The first step is to be honest with myself, and then to be honest with all of you (if you're all still out there after all this time, and I hope you are). This is more than weightloss for me. It is about healing that part of me that is hurting and contributing to keeping me fat. There is a reason I haven't lost all my weight yet. It is time to heal that part and finish what I started!

Thank you for the messages, love and support while I have been hidding in the closet again. I will start posting again, because it helps me so much =) I love all of you very much and I couldn't have gotten this far without ALL of you xoxox

at 7:31 PM

Today is "World Aids Day". We've come so far and treatment is so different now. My first husband, Nick died in 1992 (he was 24. I am HIV negative) when everyone was dying of this terrible disease. He helped in MANY studies at UCLA to help find better drugs that would help people (I know they are helping people now). I was blessed to have him in my life and he truly touched my soul even though it was for a short 6 years. I miss and love him deeply still =( He was the most loving, funny, compassionate and understanding soul I have ever met <3

I also lost my best friend Danny in 2004. He was a wonderful friend and we had so many wonderful times together too =( I love him so much and miss him too <3

I feel so blessed to have had 2 such amazing people in my life. I wish they could have been here to see all the new treatments and how people are living now with this disease. We have a long way to go, but we have also come so far.

Sending love and peace to everyone <3

at 11:32 AM

This is a new side by side of me.
I thought I would post once since it has been so long!!!
It looks small on here O_O Sorry.

The first one you have seen before. It is me at 340-350
The second is me from last week (Nov. 25, 2008) at 235-245
It's me at the Phlebotomy lab =)
I'm not sure of my exact weight as of today cause I honestly don't want to know =(
I am sure it is in that range though =) lol

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Holiday =)

Peace ^_^V
Niki~

at 1:25 PM

So, life has been so busy for me lately...blah!!! I have 3 more weeks of working at the lab doing my internship/clinicals for Phlebotomy (and I am counting down every single day...lol). I LOVE Phlebotomy...love it!!! I don't want to work for the lab here in Athens because I don't think it is the right place for me to be and I will follow my gut. I am going to look into other things, like doing physicals for life insurance companies or maybe drawing blood at Convalescent Homes or Hospice. I don't know. I'll give it to God and see what happens. I do enjoy drawing blood though =} I only needed 100 successful blood draws to pass the class and right now I have over 300 =) YAY!!! The 11-12 hour days are exhausting and being a mommy too. I'll be glad when it's over =D I have my big National Phlebotomy Exam December 12th so I have lots of studying to do.

What else...hmmm O_O I have maintained my weight loss for a year now which is good. I still have a ways to go, but maintaining has been a huge success for me (along with losing). I have been bad about updating my weight here =( I am still in the 240's and sometime hit the 230's still. I have been slacking on my lowcarb blog and things, but really I just haven't found the time. I will get back into it after I am through with school and once the holidays pass =) I AM still lowcarbing!!! Just in case people were wondering...lol =)

I plan on taking a week off from work and LIFE right after Christmas through the New Year =D So, that gives me something to look forward too. Everything else is good. I just wanted to do a quick update on life.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday Season =D

Peace ^_^V
Nicole~x

at 3:33 PM

Today I wanted a Caprese Salad so bad, but I had no tomatoes. I decided to make little bite size pods with fresh basil, small fresh mozzarella cheese balls, olive oil and a little salt. I LOVED them, but I'm a huge basil and cheese fan...lol. My basil plant right now is growing out of control O_O

The came out cute. It reminded me of little pea pods and they were yummy. You don't need to drizzle olive oil on them. They taste yummy plain too =D

at 2:59 PM

Hi all,
First I want to apologize for not blogging in soooo long =( I have been incredibly busy with work and I started my internship/clinicals at the lab doing Phlebotomy. I'll be done December 12th (THANK GOD)!!! My sch. is killing me, and I haven't any time for anything it seems =(

My weight is the same - 230's and 240's. Mostly 240's these days. I am still cheat free, but not the evil BINGE free. I struggle, I do and that's just the honest truth. And although I am happy that I have been sugar free for 2 years this February first, I am still struggling with my binges. I realized the other day that a lot of them I do without even thinking, and I am still hiding A LOT of them. An example would be eating 2 Atkins bars in my car before I get home, then showing up at home with ONE and eating it *sigh*. There was a time I could have NEVER admitted to doing such a thing, but now I have to so I can work through it. What's hard more than admitting to others that I binge in hiding, is admitting it to myself. It's scary actually. It's also scary that I do it a lot of the time without even thinking (mindless eating/mindless binging). So now to figure out how to stop and why I do it...that is the hard part. I've come so far to still be stuck in the same cycle of no self control and binging. I'll get there though...I will =)

I am going to try and post a recipe or two today (if not today this week). I feel like such a slacker. I can't wait for my life to slow down again so I can catch up to MYSELF!!! I hope everyone is well and happy. Sending everyone much peace and love.

Niki~

at 6:16 AM

FINALLY!!! I am so sorry this has taken so long. Michael was in Delaware for 2 weeks with my computer O_O I'm back though (gained Oooooo 5 pounds or so in those 2 weeks, but that's a whole other story). So I have been tagged by a couple of people...lol. Patty and Jeri...thanks ladies *hugs* So here we go...

1. Where was I 10 years ago?

I was living in Burbank California with my EX (thanks God everyday that he is my EX). I was a preschool teacher and LOVED IT!!! No children, but desperately wanted one (now I have my Serena, and of course Sophie who isn't here any longer). Hmmm, what else *thinking* I was also in College taking more Child Development classes. My weight was about 350 pounds. Oh, and I was a drug addict (9 years clean this past December). Wow, I've come a LONG way in 10 years!!! Sometimes we forget to look back and see how far we've come =)

2. What was on my to-do list today?

Well, my day is just starting, but I plan on doing laundry for work next week. Cooking a pumpkin bake. AND writing in a new journal I bought. I need to get on the "Losing" track again (that word "AGAIN" keeps coming up for me. I need a GIANT eraser!!!) and I have set up a lot of mental road blocks for myself in the past 10-12 months that I need to work on tearing down (did I spell that right O_O ).

3. What would I do if I were a billionaire?

I would help people and give to causes I believe deeply in. I would put a huge chunk away for Serena and her half brother (DJ my ex's new baby) so they were always taken care of. I would help my family and friends. I wouldn't buy a home NOT like I was a billionaire, but a small one, and I would pray that I still lived simply. One thing I would do is TRAVEL!!! Omg, I would sooooooo be out of here...lmao!!! *waves goodbye to the good old USA!!!).

4. Five places I've lived

La Crescenta, California
Los Angeles, California
Burbank, California
Denver, Colorado
Athens, Georgia

5. Bad Habits

Awww, I don't have ANY bad habits...lol.
Okay...
1. I chew my nails TERRIBLY!!!
2. I pick polish of my toenails when I'm nervous and my finger nails if they're painted too.
3. I hate being late. For me this is a bad habit cause it make me rush EVERYONE around me, and makes them a wreck. For me it's nice cause I'm never late...lol.
4. Daily I pull mascara off my eyelashes. Again I think this is a nervous habit, but it's a bad one!!! I don't actually pull my eyelashes out, I just pull the mascara off of them...lmao!!! And because of this I go through mascara like CRAZY O_O
5. I am a people pleaser. Now, this is a bad habit for me because sometime I forget about myself and my happiness gets shoved away somewhere. That is why I am putting it on my bad habit list =)

I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of anything...lol. I have pet peeves I can share if you'd like. Or WEIRD things about me I can share =)

So now I tag PJ, Vikki, Big Daddy D, Sherrie, and Jimmy =)
Have a wonderful weekend ALL!!!

Peace ^_^V

at 12:41 PM

I know I have been TAGGED 2x O_O lmao!!!
I promise I will do that before the days end.
I have a question for all of you???
What do you think about meeting once a week or something on SKYPE to talk about weight loss, lowcarb, struggles, accomplishments, LIFE!!! Everything, anything that's on your mind really. It doesn't even have to be lowcarb. Even you "Weight Watcher" people that I know are out there =)
We are all in this together. Low Carbers, WW, Low Fat, Gastric Bypass...all of us, and we all need support.
Let me know what you think. With Skype it's free even if ur in another country. I can create a chatroom for us to meet in. all u need is a mic (no cam needed).
I'm just throwing this out there. Let me know what you guys think.
I have a MAC and it works with that too.
Ideas, thoughts anyone?!?!?

at 7:42 AM

Hi everyone,

I made the yummiest low carb pizza. I got the recipe from Emily on YouTube (she's so sweet!!!). Here's her link aydensfolks on YouTube. If you haven't seen her video's they're great!!! I REALLY loved the pizza. The counts would be different for everyone so I'm not putting any up. I used a low carb sauce, mozzarella, cheddar and fetta cheese (be sure to weigh these out so you don't over do it. Veggies I used were fresh mushrooms, fresh spinach, red pepper, and black olives (Sun dried tomatoes would have been sooooo good too!!!). I also used a little pepperoni. You just layer it. It's sooooo easy!!! You can use a pie pan. Put a little sauce in the bottom, and then start layering in your cheese, veggies and meat. You cook ay at 450* until it gets a little brown and bubbly on top. Again every oven is different too so I would check it after about 25-20 minutes and see how it's doing. There's no crust, but really you don't need it. Just scoop it up into a bowl or on to a plate, make a nice salad and WHALAH!!! YUMMY!!! It's kinda like a Pizza Lasagna =) I think it would taste GREAT over Spaghetti Squash!!! I'm going to try that next time =)

at 7:44 PM

Well I made a 2nd V.Blog or Vlog...lmao!!!
It's up and it's me rambling on and on again O_O

at 2:01 PM

I made the yummiest lunch!!! I made a fresh Spinach Salad and two chicken rolls (rolled in Swiss cheese. Next time I may but a little mayo on the chicken rolls for a little extra fat). I used 4-5 oz of fresh spinach...I LOVE spinach!!! And for the dressing I used my Grandma's recipe except I didn't use sugar, I used Sweetzfree (you can use Splenda. I have when I havn't had Sweetzfree). Here is the dressing recipe...

Niki's Grandma's Olive Oil and Vinegar Dressing

1 tbsp Olive Oil
1 tbsp Vinegar (I use red wine vinegar)
1-2 drops Sweezfree (or .5-1 pack of Splenda again depends on ur own taste. I tend to like things sweet)
.25-.5 tsp Cumin (more or less depending on ur own taste)
Salt and pepper to taste (optional)

Makes 1 serving

Calories 122
Fat 14
Net Carbs 1

That's it!!! It's so good. The sweetener in it makes it sooo tasty and not bitter tasting. I put the sweetener in with the vinegar and mix it before pouring it over the Spinach so that it covers everything better. The Spinach is another 33 calories 3 net carbs (depends on how much you use) and the 1 oz Feta Cheese is 75 Calories and 1.2 net carbs. The recipe above is just the dressing. Anyways, it was yummy and different =)

at 1:40 PM

Out of pure laziness on my part I am copying and pasting this from my blog on www.icutcarbs.com over to here...lmao!!!

I have been incredibly busy...I hate it. Life is KIND OF getting back to normal, but it won't last because after this Phlebotomy class I start Clinicals where I have to work at the hospital 25 hours a week, plus my "real" job, plus Serena...I have no idea how I'm going to do it. And this is IF I pass this class and right now I'm not doing so hot. If I don't pass it (I haven't failed a class yet, but this may be the one I do fail) I will have to take it again, which may be a good thing.

I have been fighting depression AGAIN (life long battle really), but I think the stress and lack of sleep have really added to it all. I went on a 4 day BINGE (legal, but still a binge, and got up to 245.2 this past Wednesday...FUUUUUUUCK!!!) That is the highest I've hit I think in almost a year. So Wednesday I said enough is enough and started Induction again. Today I was down to 241.2 so 4 pounds in 3 days. I started Wednesday, but am weighing in on Saturdays. Hopefully I will hit the 230's by next Saturday, but if I don't that's okay too...it has to be otherwise I'll drive myself completely mad.

I have never been below 234 so it would be nice to get there in the next month. I need to get myself together and back on the losing track. Fear holds me back so much I set myself up to fail...it's craziness (esp since my motto is "Set yourself up to Succeed!!!"). Anyways, Induction for 2 weeks to get my body off the crap I crave. Then I'll start adding things back. Not as slowly as the first time, because I think I will get bored and then just go back to eating stuff that I KNOW gives me cravings AND that will start this whole cycle all over again.

On another note, Serena and I are going to go see the "Jonas Brothers" Wednesday night

She almost DIED when I told her I got the tickets. She was shaking and sweating and screaming!!! I WISH I got it on video

You could see her little heart pounding through her shirt!!! It's a school night

BUT, it's okay =) We're going to have so much fun. I'm excited because she's so excited...lol. No camera's aloud

But I'll take lots before we go in. She wants to make an "I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS" sign so I already got the poster board...lol. So cute!!!

Other than that, school sucks, ummmm work sucks...lol!!! I need to get my shit together. Oh and I need to start "really" exercising again. Esp now that Serena and I don't have the chance to swim in the mornings anymore.

Well I need to eat my yummy spinach salad and chicken wrapped in Swiss cheese. It's extra stinky so it's extra yummy =) lmao!!!

Have a great weekend all *hugs*

at 7:29 PM

Hi everyone,
I just made my first video blog. My God what a disaster...lmao!!! It took 3 tries and I was so confused on what I had said already. By the 3rd try I was so lost =/ Anyways, I will do more, and they will get better (I HOPE!!!). I feel like it was just a bunch of crazy rambling. Anyways it's up for anyone who's interested. Next time I'll give more history on ME. The first take I did, but then...Oh God don't ask =D Between interruptions and crying *blink blink* >_<;;

Here you go...lol

First V.Blog

at 9:11 AM

Hi everyone,
In the next week I plan to start video blogging. I'm not sure if I'll make a separate YouTube account for the vblog or not. If I do I'll let everyone know. I love doing the cooking video's esp. with Serena, but I want to do something a little more person too I think. I want people to get to know who I AM a little better. My struggles (esp this last year with my weight staying in the 240's and 230's), my accomplishments...just everything. I think it will make me more real to people. I think it will help me to talk it out for myself too...I think it's all part of the healing. So, we shall see how that works...lol.

School is KILLING me right now. I don't know if I'll ever get through this Phlebotomy class. It's so hard. I always say that, but OMG this one is awful. IF I pass I start clinicals the end of September. I got an "A" on my first test and a "D" on the one last week =( It was so hard!!! 7 pages (no scantron) just writing in answers and filling in blanks and labeling parts of the body, like the heart stuff *dies*. This Thursday we have a test on 5 chapters...FIVE!!! Holy crap, I panic just thinking about it O_O I also have an essay due on the 12th (I think). Serena starts school on the 11th...3rd grade...YAY!!! They grow up to quickly =(

My scale which I love so very much *rolls eyes* said I gained 2 pounds this week. I just got new batteries for it on Thursday because it has been flashing "LO" every time I would go to get on it (for the past few weeks...lol) I thought it meant my weight was getting LOW...lmao, not really. Anyways, the new batteries magically made me fatter =) And everyone else in the house too...YAY!!! We'll see how this next week goes. My biggest problem for MONTHS now is exercising. I could give you a million and one reasons WHY I'm not doing it like I should, but I'd just be lying to myself. I'll talk more about that when I do my vblog.

Okay, so I am off to start my Sunday. I already had one egg with a little tofu (that is seasoned with spinach and sun dried tomatoes...soooooo good), and 2 pieces of bacon. All very yummy. Something about the tofu and one egg are much more filling and satisfying to me then just eggs or eggs and veggies. I love it.

I hope everyone is well =) I'm so thankful for every single one of you. The ones that leave me messages and email me, and even the ones that don't. Just you coming by and reading makes me feel not so alone *hugs*

Peace ^_^V
Niki~

at 5:52 PM

Hi everyone =)
I got this recipe from a Blogger by the name of "The Low Carb Bandit" and I LOVE IT!!! She just made it with the Brussel Sprouts, but I add other veggies like Asparagus, Squash, snap peas (you can add what ever you like). You put veggies in a greased baking dish. You top it with butter and then cover it with strips of bacon. Cook at 450* for 30-45 minutes. It is one of my favorite low carb veggie recipes!!! Here's a new video to go along with it...Enjoy =)

at 5:54 PM

OMG, I have had the worst cravings!!! I hate to admit it, but I have to *sigh* Peanut Butter gives me terrible cravings =( I use to think it was just cashews and macadamia nuts, but now I am officially throwing in PEANUTS!!! Damn it all...BLAH!!! I made Michael get rid of the granola bars I made...how sad. NOW, I have made them before without peanut butter and never had a problem. So, if you get cravings from nuts don't do it. It isn't worth it. Add pumpkin spice and some vanilla extract (I'm sure the banana extract added to the cravings). If anyone has any other ideas let me know =) So, since I had cravings what did I do??? I made something sweet tonight...GOD!!! And I'm going to post it...lmao!!!

I found some low carb tortilla's and bought them (big mistake). I cut one up in little pieces and then fried them in Butter with Sweetzfree and Cinnamon. Oooooh, it was so good and soooo bad!!! If I wasn't having cravings and feeling out of control now I wouldn't worry so much, but I am and that's a bad sign for me. The other "bad" thing about all of this is that this use to be one of my FAVORITE things to eat for years, but I would use white tortilla's and TONS (and I mean tons) of real sugar. I use to make them almost daily after school when I was younger.

So now what??? Well first, I need to throw out the tortilla's. I never buy them (EVER). I don't need them, and it is self sabotage for me to have them here because I KNOW I'll eat them. Second, no more Peanut Butter or Peanuts =( That parts hard and easy. It's hard because it's another food I love that has to go. It's easy because I know in doing it, it will make me stronger and help me. It's good to know and admit our "weaknesses" (or whatever you want to call them). Peanut Butter makes me weak!!! And in knowing that, AND admitting it, it can only make me stronger. To me it's all a part of healing that addict that still lurks within me.

at 6:34 PM

Hi everyone,
I made a video for the "Granola" tonight. I posted it down there *looks down the blog a few days* with the recipe. OMG, the pic is fucking funny as hell!!! I look like I'm constipated!!! Bahahaha!!! Anyways, you can also go to My YouTube and see it straight from there. I did this right after the gym, I was really sleepy and had no make up on (scary). And I kept rambling...lol. Sorry. I'll be more awake next time. Anyways enjoy!!!

at 6:31 PM

Hi all,
Well, Serena and I finally made a new video O_O My God what a pain in the ass...lmao!!! I may start video blogging soon too. Sorry it's been so long. I have gotten lots of email asking for new one's and I have felt so bad not making any. Life has just been crazy, but WE DID IT!!! Serena went nuts again...lmao!!! Well you'll see =) It is a recipe from Linda's site and one of our FAVORITES!!! Sloppy Joe's. She begs for me to make it and that's always a good sign...Michael does too =) If you haven't tried it you really should. Anyways, here is the recipe and a link to the video. Enjoy everyone!!!

Sloppy Joe's

1 pound ground chuck
1 small onion, chopped, 2 1/2 ounces
1 clove garlic, minced
8 ounce can tomato sauce
1/4 cup granular Splenda or equivalent liquid Splenda
1/2 teaspoon blackstrap molasses, optional
2 tablespoon vinegar
1 teaspoon mustard
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon xanthan gum, optional

Brown the ground chuck along with the onion and garlic; drain the fat. Add the remaining ingredients, except the xanthan gum. Cover and simmer 30 minutes. If the sauce is too thin, thicken it with a little xanthan gum. Serve on low carb buns or over chopped lettuce (not included in counts).

Makes about 6 servings
Can be frozen

TIP: An easy way to add the xanthan gum is to stir it into the ground beef after you've drained the grease and before you add the remaining ingredients.

With granular Splenda:
Per Serving: 151 Calories; 8g Fat; 13g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 4g Net Carbs

With liquid Splenda:
Per Serving: 147 Calories; 8g Fat; 13g Protein; 4g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 3g Net Carbs

at 10:12 AM

Hi everyone,
I made these two dishes the other night and they were yummy. The chicken needs a little more kick IMHO but was still yummy =) I got both recipes from "The Low Carb Gourmet" cookbook. I changed the quantities because I didn't make as much (I only used 3 boneless chicken breasts and cut the following ingredients in half when I made it), but I am going to post the recipes as it should be. You can cut it down to your own liking =)

First the Oven Roasted Chicken...

5.5 oz Pork Rinds
6 bone in chicken thighs (about 2 pounds)
6 bone in chicken legs (about 1.5 pounds)
1 large egg
.5 cup mayo
2 tbsp dijion mustard
1.5 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp ground pepper
1 tsp dried oregano (I used an Italian blend seasoning)
.5 tsp garlic powder (I used real garlic)

Preheat oven to 400*

In food processor grind pork rinds (I don't have a food processor so I put them in a large ziplock back and smashed them...lol)

In a shallow bowl, mix egg, mayo, mustard, and seasonings.

Dip each piece of chicken in mayo mixture to coat them roll chicken in pork rinds. Place chicken on baking sheet (I put foil down) and cook for about 40 minutes.

Here is a pic...

Next I made the Braised Fennel with White Wine and Parmesan

2 1 lb. Fennel Bulbs
4 tbsp Unsalted Butter
.5 cup White Wine or Chicken Broth
.5 cup Freshly Grated Parmesan Cheese
Salt and Pepper to taste

Trim the base of the fennel and stems from the fennel and cut each bulb into 6 wedges

Melt butter over medium heat in frying pan and add fennel. Season with salt and pepper then add wine or chicken stock. Bring to a simmer

Cover and lower heat. Let fennel cook for about 15 minutes. Turn wedges over, cover, and cook until liquid has evaporated and the fennel starts to turn golden. Turn over and color the other side. Sprinkle with Parmesan Cheese and serve. You can also pop under the broiler to brown cheese if you like (I didn't). I also only made on Fennel bulb because I am the only one here that likes it =)

Here is a pic of it cooking...

And here it is together with some strawberries cause I was in the mood for them =)

at 1:29 PM

Hi Everyone,
I wanted to mention I have started a section to the right of my blog that will list "My Favorite Low Carb Boards and Support Sites". These are not blogs. I only have 2 over there right now, but I will add more.

The First one is ICutCarbs. This is MY favorite and let me tell you why =) I have never been to another low Carb board where I have gotten so much love and support. No one bashing, no one telling you you're doing it "wrong" *rolls eyes*. It's VERY close without the "cliques" (is that how you spell it...lmao or is it clicks...*dies laughing* You know what I mean =) ). You will get nothing but the help you need over there from people who truly care. I also like that it doesn't have a MILLION and ONE forums. It's PERFECT!!! You can even have a blog/journal there too (I do!!!). There's a place for pics, Recipes, Help, a Womans Forum, a Mens Forum and more. Oh and you can say "shit" and not get in trouble...lmao!!! Anyways, if you are looking for support (and we all are) I would really suggest going there (I hope I see you there!!!).

The other one is Dr. Jonny Bowden's website that has TONS of info. Everyone knows how much I love and respect Jonny so a link to his site is there also =)
There is a link to his blog at his website too!!!

I will add more because there are more. I just wanted to be sure to get my two favorites up =)

Oh, and since I started following Dr. Jonny's advice I am down a little over 4 pounds in these past 2 weeks!!! EAT YOU VEGGIES!!! AND FRUIT!!!

Have a great weekend everyone =D

at 11:39 PM

Hi all,
I made a low carb granola bar before, but wasn't that fond of it. I decided to change it a bit and it came out YUMMY!!! I added Rolled Oats this time and Peanut butter. You don't have to add rolled oats...you can just use more flax seed meal in place of the oats. You also don't have to use Peanut Butter. You can use different spices you like and or extracts. You can also break it up and eat it with cream (and berries) poured over it. It's soooo good!!! Here's what I came up with tonight.

Niki's Peanut Butter "Granola" Bars

Ingredients

Preheat Oven: 250*
Cooking Time: 3-3.5 hr

1.5 cups ground flax
.5 cup Rolled oats
1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
.5 cup Peanut Butter, Natural Creamy or Chunky
1 tbsp Cinnamon (optional)
Sweetzfree to taste (I used 25 drops) or 1/2 cup granular Splenda
1 tbsp Banana extract
1 tsp Vanilla extract
6 egg whites
1/2 cup water

Directions

Mix dry ingredients in one bowl and wet ingredients in another bowl. Then combine together and mix well.
Spread in a greased baking dish and bake until completely dry at 250 degrees for 3-3.5 hours. After about an hour and a half take a spatula and make 16 bars. Put back in oven. After 30 more minutes flip them over until finished (If you don't flip them they tend to stay to moist on the other side). They should be pretty dried out.
Cool and store in an airtight container or ziplock bag.
Makes 16 bars

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 16
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 137.5
Total Fat: 9.6 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 22.9 mg
Total Carbs: 8.3 g
Dietary Fiber: 4.9 g
Protein: 5.8 g

at 9:58 PM

Hi everyone!!!
Well, I just wanted to add a quick update of my last week. I did add the oatmeal. I actually add two different kinds together and I LOVE it!!! I add Sweetzfree or Splenda, and Cinnamon (which is a great spice that's good for you too). If I have berries I add those too.

I use this...Bob's Red Mill Organic Rolled Oats

And this...Arrowhead Mills Organic Hot Cereal, 4 Grain Plus Flax

I mix them both together and then cook a .25 cup of the cereal (1 serving) with .75 cup of water. I add cream too when it's finish, but only 1-2 table spoons. Butter is good in it too (I only tried that once). It comes out to...

1 Serving (without cream or berries)

118 Calories
2 g. Fat
22 Carbs
6 Fiber
4 Protein
16 Net carbs

Before I would have SHIT over that amount of carbs, but it has been a healthy, nutritious breakfast for me (not daily but about 3x a week), that is good for my heart and body (my oppinion only). I have really enjoyed it. I have been eating lots of veggies...Brussel Sprouts (my favorite), Asparagus, Salads, Yellow and Red Peppers, Cucumber, Celery (with cream cheese...YUM!!!), Carrots, Green Beans, Cauliflower, Brocoli, Anis, and I bought an Artichoke to cook tomorrow =) I haven't cut back on fat, I haven't changed much, but have added healthy grains, an more veggies daily. With that said I am down 2.4 pounds this week =) So it didn't hurt me at all to add these foods, and for that I am thankful. I think I am headed in a better direction now. Still low carb (I will ALWAYS be a lowcarber), but a healthier one IMHO. EveryBODY is different and I needed to up my carbs MONTHS ago. I tried, but fear always held me back. BLAH, I feel like I've said this all before. I feel, for me, that it's so important that I am honest with myself and others about my weight loss and struggles or I will stay stuck and never succeed. I'm sure this won't be the last of my struggles, but I won't ever give up...ever!!!

Peace all, and thanks to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU for the support and love. Even those who just come by and read, but never post. It means so much to me. Lots of Love <3

Niki~

at 1:20 PM

So, I have had a few days to think and shop =) Lots of veggies, berries, rolled oats with flax and grains, chick peas & BREAD!!! I am starting off slowly. I am not eating all the things I mentioned at once or even this week. Beans I am going to wait a couple weeks to add in, and am adding the grains right now + extra veggies. The rolled oat with flax I am eating to help with my cholesterol. I'll probably just eat it 3-4 times a week with berries and see how I do. Today for breakfast I had 1 egg with fresh spinach, 2 bacon, one slice of toast, a few strawberries and a cup of tea. It was DEEEELISH!!! The bread I decided to get is "Ezekiel 4:9". It's made with Organic, wheat, barley, millet, lentils, soybeans, spelt, water, yeast and salt...that's it. It's all organic which I like. The counts are...

Ezekiel 4:9 Bread-1 slice

Calories 80
Fat 0.5
Cholesterol 0
Sodium 75
Potassium 80
Carbs 15
Fiber 3
Protein 4

Net carbs 12

OrganicSprouted100WholeG_0711301547.jpg picture by Xainya

Oh, and here is my breakfast this morning (the berries I got after I took the pic...lol).

breakfast.jpg picture by Xainya

I thought long and hard about eating a slice of bread that had 12 carbs, and 12 really isn't to bad. It is also giving me grains, fiber and potassium I need. I put some butter on top for extra fat (and it tastes good). There is another bread I was looking at called "Woman's Bread" It's has organic white flour in it though and I am staying away from anything white. If anyone knows of any good, healthy bread (that is relatively low carb) please let me know =) I have been adding over the last few days so it'll be interesting to see what the scale says Saturday...I'll be happy even with a 1 pound loss. I think the added veggies and things are going to make a HUGE difference for me, and I finally feel mentally ready for them. I'm not going to eat any whole wheat pastas cause that spells DANGER for me. The bread I like because I can keep it frozen, it'll last forever, and I can take one piece out at a time.

For lunch I had grilled Chicken with Brussel Sprouts, Cauliflower, Broccoli, and Asparagus cooked with olive oil and spiced up with "Butt Rub" lmao...YUM!!!

For dinner I had a fresh salad with romain lettuce, carrots, cucumber, with grilled onion and turkey kielbasa. On top was feta cheese and dressing. I found a really good "Greek Feta" dressing at the health food store on Saturday.

Desert will be fresh raspberries with some heavy whipping cream.

I'll keep everyone up to date on how everything is going with adding the new foods. I got a lot of veggies in today. I haven't had a soda in almost a week. Water, water, water...but God I want a soda. I still have a cup of coffee at night, BUT I was drinking like a pot a day O_O I got rid of the coffee pot because I had no control and just use a small coffee press now. Sometimes you have to get drastic...lol. I hope everyone has a GREAT week!!!

Oh before I forget...the Butt Rub LMAO!!!

Butt Rub is a great little seasoning I found while we were in N. Carolina. It has no sugar and has a bit of a kick to it. I really like it...

at 1:51 PM

So, this may help. It's my lab work. I don't understand any of it...BLAH!!! Maybe someone else will...

Here is my lab work. It is from May 23, 2008

Now-On Atkins

Cholesterol 283
HDL 54.0
LDL Cholesterol 209.2

LDL/HDL Ratio 3.9

A1C 5.3
Triglyceride 99

Not sure if that makes sense. I don't really know what it all means. I know my A1C and Triglyceride's are good.

Before Atkins (before February 2007)

A1C was 10.1
Triglyceride's were 222
Cholesterol was 230
HDL was 39
LDL was 147

So, everything has climbed higher and higher. If I look back at all my lab work I can see it climbing the whole time I have been on Atkins *sigh* I am so confused, torn, worried and unsure of what to do next. I did by some oatmeal at the health food store last night. Not the instant kind either so you know it's gonna taste like crap =( I haven't had oatmeal since I started Atkins. I bought it because it is suppose to help your Cholesterol. I haven't eaten any yet...I've just been staring at it =(

Oh, I am not taking the Lipitor either. My Dr. wants me to wait and try eating differently first. I agree. I don't want to take it. I didn't want to take it the last time they wanted me to. He was really okay with me not taking it though and looking at my food first with the Nutritionist. They are going to do blood work again in September and then again in December...after that we'll see if there are any changes and then MAYBE try meds, but I really don't want to.

Okay, that's it for now. Thanks everyone =)

***UPDATE 1***

I just wrote to Dr. Jonny Bowden 7/4/08 (I LOVE HIM and have all his books...they're wonderful!!!). Anyways, he wrote me back =-O I'm sooo thankful. This is what he said to me...

"Hi Nicole

For what it's worth, let me just say this:
Your HDL cholesterol- a very important measure- is wonderfully high.
Your ratio is wonderfully healthy (3.9)
And most important- your ratio of triglycerides to HDL (99:54, or roughly 2) is superb, and that is a 16 times better predictor of heart disease than cholesterol is.
I'm uncomfortable telling you "not to worry" but I can tell you that if it were me, I would not worry.
In my humble opinion the standard high carb diabetes diet will one day be considered malpractice.
I think if your carbs are from high fiber vegetables you needn't worry about the exact carb content. Other than that I'd keep carbs low.
ONe more piece of advice, which i would underline a hundred times if I could: There is a movie called "MY BIG FAT DIET". It was a research project funded in Canada in which three MDs and a PhD put an entire town (where obesity and diabetes were rampant) on an Atkins type diet for a year. Track this film down. Buy it on DVD. You may feel very very differently after seeing it. Trust me.

Hope that helps

best
Jonny"

I am going to order the video, and I am thinking I just really need to take in more veggies, fruit and add some grains (like oatmeal). I have just stayed eating the same stuff for FOREVER, never really moving up. I need more veggies. I need some beans and grains...I'll add them slowly. More fiber. Okay. No South Beach, no friggin Diabetes Diet crap. I love Atkins it works, and I have had great success with it. I just need to stop screwing around, being scared and add more things like I should have done MONTHS ago. Right??? lol =)

***UPDATE 2***

I heard back from Jonny again today 7/5/08. I am posting what he wrote to me in hopes that it may help others that are having the same problem as I have been. I did a lot of thinking last night and what I really need is BALANCE. I have none. My fear of carbs (even veggie carbs) has been terrible as I have talked about on here before. My fear of moving up and eating things like grains and beans has TRULY NOT BENEFITED ME one bit. I ate homemade oatmeal (not the instant, but the rolled oats kind mixed with one that had flax and barely in it). I ate it with fresh raspberries yesterday and today and I didn't die...lmao. I feel great. Okay, here is what he said...

"Hi Nicole
couple of things
First, by any measure, you're getting better, and it's astonishing to me that your docs are not seeing this whole pic and are simply freaked out by one lab value.
Two, there is evidence that cholesterol does indeed go up when large folks lose large amounts of weight. When large amounts of weight are lost, tissue is broken down and gotten rid of. All tissue has a large cholesterol component since cholesterol is the primary structural lipid in the human body. If tissues are being broken down then cholesterol is being liberated into the blood. It ultimately makes its way to the liver where it is disposed of, but on the way it is measured as an elevated serum cholesterol.
Three, a personal note: I'd move away from the "following" Atkins vs "following" south beach. They're not that different in the first stage- South beach is Atkins with a saturated fat phobia and a few more grains. You should find a program that works for YOU and not worry about whether it fits into the template of a diet book, even the best of them. Ultimately all successful weight losers wind up mixing and matching and creating their own "blend" of strategies.
Four, the diet you describe might be OK for weight loss, but overall I'm not thrilled with it for a couple of reasons and they don't have to do with the fat content. For one thing, given the state of factory farmed meat (antibiotics, steroids, hormones) it's hard to recommend meat and bacon these days unless you're rich enough to afford grass fed organic. My advice- eat grass fed but eat it less. Also, while it might be good from a weight point of view, you need those vegetables- like a zillion percent more than you're getting. Even atkins recommended that. Plant foods are associated with every possible good health outcome on the planet. I'm not saying go off low carb, but you can eat plates and plates and plates of vegetables (and even some berries and low sugar fruit) and still stay under 100 grams of carbs a day, and half of that's gonna be fiber.
And last but not least- i have a feeling you might be falling into the "calories don't matter as long as it's low carb". Unfortunately that's not the case. these foods are REALLY high in calories (esp cheese and nuts which are so easy to overeat). And calories do count EVEN THOUGH- may I repeat- EVEN THOUGH they are NOT the whole picture. (But they still play a big role).
For more on the calories/ carb thing go check out Dr. Michael Eades blog- just google Michael Eades, MD blog and you'll find it or even Protein Power. He has a recent blog on calories and low carb diets.

Good luck with everything

warmly
jb"

Hope all this info helps others as much as it has OPENED MY EYES and helped me =)

Peace all ^_^V
Niki~

**P.S.** Wow, this has become a VERY long post...lmao!!! I found the post Dr. Jonny mentioned by, Dr. Eades. Here is a link for anyone who is interested...
LowCarb and Calories~By, Dr. Eades

at 10:36 AM

Hi everyone,
I'm a MESS!!! I posted on a "South Beach" board today because I am thinking of switching. I trust ALL OF YOU and any help or advice you have for me I would love. I know all of you, you know me, and I am confused and scared. Please tell me what you think I should do. If I don't do South Beach the Nutritionist would really like me to do more diabetes controlled eating which is still eating things I'm not use to and ARE "BAD" (no wonder people are still dying from diabetes!!!). My cholesterol is HIGH and has been climbing since I started Atkins. That is why the Dr. sent me to the Nutritionist. My Diabetes is still under control. I'm just confused and scared. Not to mention not losing for forever, but I know a lot of that is my own fault for many reasons. Blah!!! I have a lot to think about.

**P.S.**
Everything went fine with the plastic surgeon. But, he referred me to someone else *sigh* He said I'll lose my belly button O_O because they remove that whole section...crazy. I have so much crap on my mind right now, and I'm starving and don't know what to eat =(

***UPDATE 7/5/08***
I'm sticking to what I'm doing =) Just adding the things I should have a long, long time ago!!!

at 6:30 PM

So far this week (it's Monday...lmao!!!) has been good. The weekend too. I feel a lot better, and I'm so thankful for that. I go to the Dr. appointments on Wednesday. I'm really nervous about it actually. I'm going to try not to be =) I know I need to lose more weight, and am anxious to see what he say's about that...how much more and how much is skin, and if he can even tell me that. I think if I got to 180 the rest may be skin...not sure though. that's 60 more pounds or so to lose. Not bad.

I've had a headache most of the day (I think it's allergies). I had strawberries with cream poured over them tonight (I made Michael and Serena Strawberry Short Cake). Mine was very yummy =) I think I like raspberries with cream better though...with a little Sweetzfree...so good!!!

Well, I'll update again after I see the Dr. later this week. I hope everyone is well. I really need to make a video soon O_O

at 5:46 PM

Hi all,
So yesterday (June 27th) was 7 years since I lost my daughter Sophie. It's always such a hard day for me, harder than most. I miss her every day, and wish everyday that things were different...they're not =(

7 years ago today (June 28th), I was dying in ICU on a ventilator, fighting for my life. I was given a month to live and here I am. I spent months in the hospital and it took me over a year to recover, but I did. I'm still recovering in some ways.

Breathing. Going back to school. Slowly but surely becoming healthy and losing weight. Watching my daughter, Serena grow up, which I thought would never happen. Walking again (I didn't walk for almost a year and had to learn how to again). Being able to hold Serena (I wasn't able to pick her up and hold her for almost a year). Being able to get up and get a glass of water, something I took for granted, but never will again. Just being able to drink water for Christ sake...I couldn't drink for over a month and it was TERRIBLE!!! IV only and ice chips. I use to try and hold the cup in my hand and pray some of the ice would melt so I could drink some with out the nurses finding out...pure misery.

I have been very blessed in my life, and yet I still get depressed and don't feel very thankful. They say it's "survivors guilt". I say it's "HELL". I have been crying, paranoid and depressed for 2 weeks now (I'm always depressed I know, but it was a lot worse). I felt like something bad was going to happen. Like I was waiting for something terrible. I'm sure I drove Michael crazy, but he is so patient and understanding (Thank God). On Tuesday I was racking my brain. Trying to figure out why I was having all these feelings. I thought maybe it was because of Sophie and the date coming up. That maybe that was why I have felt impending doom, constant and never ending. Now, I think that was what it was, because I feel better today. I can't be sure, but it seems like it. I think it happens every year, and I just haven't realized that is what it is.

Today IS better. I feel not so weighed down by fear and grief. I have been reading a lot which may have helped keep me distracted. Who know's. They say, "Time heals all wounds". I don't know about that. Time has made the grief easier when dealing with my husband, Nick's death when I was 24. But time hasn't helped very much with the death of my daughter, Sophie Ann. I can't imagine every feeling whole. Something always feels like it's missing...an emptiness, a constant ache. Guilt too. So much so that I can hardly stand it sometimes.

I sure can ramble =) Enough of that!!! On a happier note I lost 2 of the 3 pounds I gained on vacation. Let's see, what else...*thinks* Oh, school starts back up for me on the 8th. This will be my last class for Phlebotomy then in September (I think) I start clinicals and should be done with that in December. Then I just have to take a test for my Phlebotomy licence. I'm excited that I'm getting close to being finished.

OH, I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon this Wednesday. I'll let you know what he has to say. I am hoping he gives me some hope, and that I feel better about countinuing my weight loss. I am also meeting with a nutritionist on Wednesday. I will write more about it after I meet with everyone =)

Well, that's it for now. I may try to post a recipe this week. I may even try to make a new video. Maybe I should try some video blogging...maybe it would help. Sorry this is so long O_O

Hope everyone is well...thanks for listening =)

at 10:16 AM

I'm in a bad place these days. It's the only way to describe it.
I am depressed beyond belief, throw in a dash of mania and WHAAALHAAA!!! A crazy person O_o
In all seriousness it's really terrible. I'm crying, I'm happy, my mind is going faster than I can keep up with. I feel overwhelmed, trapped, hopeless. I write in my head...like short poems or stories that are gone as quickly as they came. It maddening. Living with Manic Depressive Disorder (which they now call Bi-Polar, but I still call Manic Depressive Disorder...lol) is so hard sometimes. It doesn't get this bad very often. I am trying to keep track of my moods. BLAH!!! It just sucks. Part of it is my own fault since I refuse to take anything but anti anxiety meds. I hate anti-depressants, and mood stabilizers....NO THANK YOU!!! I've seen what they do to people. I have lived with this my whole life. The last decent shrink I saw said that the reason anti-depressants never worked for me was because I am "Bi-Polar" and you need a mood stabilizer with the anti-depressant. That an anti-depressant without a mood stabilizer for someone who is Bi-Polar does nothing, AND it can throw them into mania. He also explained why sometimes the Xanax works great and other times it does NOTHING for me. Sometimes I can take Xanax, and still my mind won't stop, and I clean, clean, clean. I actually do my best cleaning when I'm like that, but it makes me crazy cause everything bothers me. Ooooo, the sweet mind of a crazy person. They have me taking Klonopin now...awful!!! I really need to look into more natural ways *sigh*

So this is me right now. Praying it doesn't last long. I'm so irritable and bitchy :( It is also extra hard to fight the "I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING" feelings when I'm like this. We leave for Delaware on June 11th, then down to the Outer Banks, N. Carolina on the 15th-22nd, and God I hope I feel better by then...I have to!!! We'll be home on the 22nd. I put on 7 pounds when we went last year O_O BUT, it was water and I lost it within the first few days of being home. I ate so many peanuts and didn't drink enough water...lol.

Sorry for the ramble. Sometimes I just need to yap, and sometimes I feel so alone and it helps to just come here and ramble. Thanks to anyone who sat and read the ramblings of a mad woman O_O

Peace all ^_^V

Oh, I almost forgot...
I'm down .4 pounds this week, and again I'll take it...even the ounces :)

at 2:42 PM

Hi all,
Well, I have been on Induction this week and lost 4 pounds. YaY!!! I think it was a little more than 4, but I'm sticking with a 4 pound loss and am happy with it. I'm continuing Induction this week. and see where that goes...lol :) I'm relaxing today. A little depressed and teary today so I'm not writting much, but did want to let everyone know how I did this week :)

Hope everyone is well :)
Peace ^_^V
Nicole~

at 3:07 PM

Hi Everyone,
I'm editing this note :) At the moment I'm not sure of my summer sch cause it's a mess at the moment. I should know more next week (maybe the week after). I'll post it then. Serena is out of school for the summer which is nice. She had to read something at church on Friday and I got to see it. I'm so glad :) She did GREAT!!! I have it on video. I'll have to see if I can add it somewhere at some point. We went swimming on Friday, out to lunch, to Borders to get coffee for me and a donut and chocolate milk for her. I took her out for lunch. Got her ice cream...lmao!!! I told her it was her day so I let her pick everything we did and let her eat whatever she wanted...lmao!!! I got her some books she wanted to read for the summer..."The Box Car Children" and "Angela Anaconda". She also want's "The Magic Tree House"...I think that's what it's called. So we're going to go look for that next week. Anyways, Friday was a good day :)

I'm REALLY stressed out right now. SO much is going on. With Summer school for Michael and I. Summer camp for Serena (She is going to camp for a few hours a day on 3 separate weeks at Good Dirt...I think she'll really love it). And then work....no comment!!! I need to meditate :)

Well, I just wanted everyone to know what was going on :) Oh, and we leave for Wilmington, Delaware, and then the Outer Banks, North Carolina on June 11th - June 22nd. I can't wait!!! I'll take lots of pics again, and if we have internet at the beach house I'll check in :) Oooooo, I really can't wait!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful summer!!!
Peace ^_^V
Nicole~

at 4:43 AM

I started Induction on Sunday to try and get myself out of this "stall" or whatever the hell it is...so we shall see. Maybe my body just likes it here :) I don't see it as a "bad" thing, just a pain in my ass :) Starting swimming again next week so maybe that'll help too. BLAH!!!

I still haven't cheated (that is friggen amazing so I always have to mention it...bahahaha), but have been pretty flaky about keeping track of my food these days and have had no motivation to exercise (but have been the past two mornings). Oh, and have had one to many "legal" binges *sigh*. The fat girl still lives!!! I think part of the lack of motivation is the meds I take to sleep and for anxiety....they turn me into mush. I need to start looking into natural things I think, but then I panic just thinking that....lmao!!! It's crazy!!! God, I'm rambling again. I really don't know what to do about my TERRIBLE anxiety, depression (Manic Depressive or as they call it now Bi-Polar...BLAH!!!), and a list of other things that all make me fucking crazy O_o So, the meds make me sleepy and lazy (although I am lazy anyways...lmao). Yeah, that's my excuse for the day :)

So after 2 weeks I will add back "stuff". I want to be able to have strawberries AT LEAST by the time we go to the Outer Banks next month. That may be wishful thinking :)

I hope everyone is well :)

Peace ^_^V

at 7:24 PM

I love Dr. Jonny Bowden, and he had a blog today I thought some of you may like to read :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sugar Addiction

Nutritionists have debated for a while whether there's such a thing as "sugar addiction". (I have a name for this kind of debate- I call it "ridiculous". I put it in the same class as the "debate" among conventional doctors over whether there's such a disease as chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia. How clueless are these people?)

So, yes, I've long since made up my mind that sugar addiction "exists", and so have plenty of people who have experienced it themselves. But it's always nice when science backs up our own intuitions. A recent study by graduate student Maglie Lenoir and her colleagues at the Unvierstiy of Bordeaux in France showed that rats given a choice between highly sweetened water and intravenous cocaine overwhelmingly picked- you guessed it- the sugar water!

And their preference was just as intense regardless of whether the liquid was sweetened with saccahrin or sugar (diet soda drinkers note well).

As Rachel Dvoskin explains in this month's issue of Scientific American: Mind, hypersensitivity to sugar and the taste of sweetness probably evolved when sugar was scarce in the diet and it's presence indicated a high-calorie (and therefore nutritious) meal. But the excessive sugar and sugar-substitutes in our modern diet may just overstimulate the sweet receptors in the brain, leading to a loss of self-control mechanisms and the risk of addiction.

Remember, even the sweet tooth had an evolutionary purpose. We humans are unable to manufacture our own vitamin C. And vitamin C is normally found in sweet things like fruits. Add this to the fact that many bitter plants are poisonous, and you can see a sound evolutionary reason for the Genome Organizing Device (GOD) to give us a nice strong sweet tooth- it kept us away from poison and made us seek out vitamin C containing foods.

But the modern diet has sent these normal control mechanisms into overdrive and driven us literally crazy. Remember, drugs and food both activate reward pathways in the brain, and sometimes these reward pathways get "hijacked". When they do, it takes more and more of the craved substance to get the same "high", and "regular" pleasures don't even register on our inner pleasure meter. We're addicted. Like the rats to sugar water.

Other research has also shown that rats can become quite dependent on sugar and act exactly like addicts when it's taken away- shivering and shaking and exhibiting typical symptoms of addiction and withdrawl.

So no, if you think you might be addicted to sugar, it's not necessarily "all in your head". The good news is that you can kick it. The bad news is that it's not the easiest thing in the world to do. But the best news of all is how great you'll feel once you're off the roller coaster of blood sugar hell.

Note: A good way to start your crave-busting program is with heaping tablespoons of L-glutamine. The brain uses it for fuel, and it seems to calm cravings. A second thing you can do is make a deal with yourself that you can have whatever it is you're craving if you just wait 15 minutes and do something else first (like walk around the block, do 50 push-ups or take a warm bath). Cravings- even the worst of them- tend to die out after 15 minutes. You just need to learn to outsmart them.

by Dr. Jonny Bowden

at 7:31 PM

This is another GREAT recipe I got from Linda's site. Michael and Serena LOVED it too. I use the Walden Farms BBQ sauce. I like it, but a lot of people don't. Any low carb sauce will do :)
I had asparagus with it, but I took the pic before I put it on my plate...lmao!!! Here's the recipe...

Houston Chicken

1 boneless chicken breast
Salt, pepper and other seasonings, to taste
2 tablespoons Walden Farms BBQ sauce or other low carb BBQ sauce
2 slices bacon, cooked until not quite crisp (I crumbled my bacon on top of the chicken)
1 ounce cheddar cheese, shredded

Season and grill the chicken. Place in a baking dish, then top with the barbecue sauce, bacon slices and cheese. Broil to melt the cheese. Serve at once.

Makes 1 serving
Can be frozen

Per Serving: 349 Calories; 20g Fat; 39g Protein; 3g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 2g Net Carbs

ENJOY :)

at 7:21 PM

Hi all,
I found this recipe on a low carb board and tried them tonight. They are really good. I like them better than "clouds". They're also REALLY easy to make. Michael loved them too :) Next I have to see if Serena likes them...lol. Anyways here's the recipe. It makes 6, but in the pic there are 5 cause I ate one before I took the pic...lmao!!!

Creamy Cinnamon Buttons

Ingredients

2 oz Cream Cheese (softened)
.25 tsp cinnamon (you can add more to your own taste)
2 packs Splenda or 1-2 drops Sweetzfree
Parchment Paper

Directions

Warm cream cheese in microwave until soft, about 30 seconds. Add Splenda and cinnamon. Mix well. Drop 6 small balls on parchment paper and press with spoon. Put in freezer for 15 minutes or until frozen.
Each button is 33 calories and about .4 net carbs. Whole recipe is 203.3 calories and 3 net carbs. If you use Sweetzfree the carb count is less :) ENJOY!!!

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 203.3
Total Fat: 20.2 g
Cholesterol: 60.5 mg
Sodium: 181.7 mg
Total Carbs: 3 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.3 g
Protein: 4.1 g

at 9:04 PM

I got this recipe off of Amy's Eating Low site (she has AWESOME recipes!!!), and it's soooo yummy. She didn't have exact counts so I weighed and measured everything. The nutritional info is below. It really is good!!! I've made it twice. You can use any cheese you like. I used a total of 8 oz of cheese so it was 1 oz of cheese per serving. I also used Half and Half, but you can use Heavy Whipping Cream (I used that last time). Either way it turns out yummy

Zucchini Quiche

Ingredients

10 oz fresh Zucchini (cut thin)
5 eggs
1 cup Half and Half
6 pieces of Bacon (cooked and crumbled)
4 oz Cheddar Cheese (shredded)
4 oz Mozzarella Cheese (shredded)
Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 350*. Cook bacon and crumble it. Slice zucchini into thin slices. Mix eggs and cream in a bowl. Spray pie plate with cooking spray. Place a layer of zucchini on the bottom of the pie plate and put zucchini around the sides as well. Add a layer of bacon and then a layer of cheese. Add another layer of zucchini and then another layer of bacon and then cheese. Pour the egg/cream mix into the pan. Top with cheese. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until set (mine took 40 minutes, but check after 30 minutes).

Number of Servings: 8

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 8
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 212.1
Total Fat: 15.9 g
Cholesterol: 171.2 mg
Sodium: 282.8 mg
Total Carbs: 3.7 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.5 g
Protein: 13.4 g

at 10:25 AM

Thin and Crispy Pizza Crust!!!

I got this recipe from Linda's site, but I changed it. I made it with less cheese so that each serving was only 1 oz of cheese, and I also made it with less eggs. I used 1 instead of 3. She used basil seasoning and I used Italian seasoning. I also used a little less of the spices since I used less cheese. It's really up to your own taste :) I loved the way it turned out. It was yummy. The counts for this recipe are without any toppings. Remember to add counts for sauce and toppings IF you use them. I put sauce, peppers, mushrooms and pepperoni on half. The other half Michael only wanted pepperoni with no sauce. It looks burnt but it isn't. It was DEEELISH!!!

THIN AND CRISPY PIZZA CRUST
6 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded
2 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded
1 eggs
.5-1 teaspoon garlic powder
.5-1 teaspoon Italian Seasoning
*Toppings of your choice

Mix the cheeses, eggs, garlic powder and Italian Seasoning well. Line a 12 inch pizza pan with parchment paper or nonstick foil. Evenly spread the cheese mixture in the pan, almost to the edge, making it as thin as possible. Bake at 450º 15 minutes until golden brown. Check after 10 minutes to make sure it isn't burning. Add your toppings. If you add toppings add them and put pizza uder the broiler for 4-5 minutes (check after 2 minutes). I didn't add extra cheese but you can. Be sure to add them into your extra topping counts if you do.

Makes 8 servings

*You can sauté any vegetable toppings before putting them on the pizza because it will only be under the broiler for a few minutes with the toppings on.

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 8
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 95.1
Total Fat: 6.5 g
Cholesterol: 47.7 mg
Sodium: 155.3 mg
Total Carbs: 0.9 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.0 g
Protein: 8.0 g

1 Net Carb per slice!!! (without toppings)

at 6:04 PM

I got this recipe online at about.com. OMG, they are yummy, and you know me and sweet stuff *rolls eyes* I REALLY need to get a thermometer because I had no idea how hot the oil was. It worked though and I dropped a little in to test the oil and it puffed right up. I only made eight. I think I used to much batter. Also mine weren't cooked in the middle...LMAO!!! But you know what they were still good. It was like a yummy warm filling inside. So I need to work on these, but not anytime soon because they are VERY ADDICTIVE!!! And they don't keep, SO eat at your own risk :)

Low Carb Donuts

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 cup whey protein powder (Vanilla works well. I used Designer Protein when I made these.)
1/4 tsp nutmeg (rounded)
2 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
2 Tbsp heavy cream
1 egg
2 Tbsp water
1/4 cup sugar equivalent in a substitute (I used Sweetzfree for zero carbs)
Oil (for frying)
For Topping:
3 packets powdered sugar substitute, such as Splenda
Pinch cinnamon

Directions:

1. Mix sweetener with cinnamon, and set aside.

2. Whisk dry ingredients together. Whisk egg with other wet ingredients, add to dry ingredients, and whisk to combine well.

3. Fill a deep skillet, cast-iron pan, or dutch oven with about 1½ inches of oil and heat.

I find that using a fry/candy thermometer that clips onto the side of the pan is helpful for determining when the oil is ready, but you can estimate by dropping small amounts of the batter in -- it should sizzle fairly vigorously.

4. When oil reaches around 350 to 360 F, drop tablespoon-sized amounts of batter into the oil. The batter will spread and puff up. If you let the oil go higher than about 375 F, the batter will fry quickly, leaving you with more of a funnel cake than a doughnut. (This, of course, is not a big tragedy.)

5. When the underside browns (about a minute, give or take 20 seconds for temperature variation), turn the doughnut. In another 30 to 45 seconds, it will be ready to remove. I like cooling them on a cake rack sitting in a sheet pan. If you place them on paper towels, be sure not to let them sit too long, as they will lose their crunchy outside.

6. Sprinkle sweetener and cinnamon mixture over both sides of the doughnuts.

Makes 12 doughnuts, each about 2½ inches in diameter.

Nutritional Information: Each serving has less than a gram effective carbohydrates and 2 grams protein. Each doughnut has 26 calories, prior to frying (total calories per doughnut is dependent on the amount of oil absorbed.)

And here they are finished...a little funny looking :) They kind of look like little chickens...lol!!!

at 6:31 AM

Hi all,
I have been between 234 and 242 for FOREVER!!! It's my own fault. I haven't been exercising like I use to, I keep having binges on things like nuts (which I need to just cut out completely because I have no control with them lately). Been slacking on water. I haven't been keeping track of how much I'm eating. I use to ALWAYS put every bite of food that went into my mouth into fitday, and I haven't been. Today I started. Everything has gone into fitday, no nuts, no Atkins bars a.k.a. CRAP!!! I don't know if I need to do induction again to get myself back on track??? If I still can't get myself together this week I think I'll have to. How sad

But I have been dilly dallying in this 242-234 range for 6 months!!! I have NEVER gotten below 234. It's getting depressing. I could have been out of the 200's by now. A lot of it has been the fear of losing more weight, but I need to get over it already.

So there I am, still a mess

I always said I'd be honest esp. with myself. I still have no control. I'm still a binger (I bought a can of nuts the other day when I left to pick Serena up from school and had finished them by the time I got back home)...that IS a sickness!!! I use to by nuts and measure them out into 1 oz baggies so I wouldn't over eat them because I knew I would eat them all if I didn't. Now I just eat them all. I still haven't had sugar, whites, nothing, but you know what, even a "legal binge" is a binge. Eating a can of nuts in the car is still me being a closet binger and out of control. I need to start exercising again. Part of the problem is I take meds to sleep and they have me on a lot and the next day I don't want to do ANYTHING!!! I drag myself to work and all I think about is how much I want to take a nap.

Well, there I am

I'm still around, and still trying to get some kind of control over my eating...BLAH!!!

at 1:04 PM

I found this recipe on "Eating low with Amy". She has some GREAT recipes!!! She made it with beef and called it "Beef in a bag" I didn't use beef, I used chicken. I also couldn't use Sesame Oil because Michael is allergic so I used Olive oil. It was still YUMMY!!! I used less garlic then she used (I used one clove, she used 3). You can use how much you like. You can use beef or chicken or BOTH!!! Michael and I loved it!!! I may make it again tomorrow so Serena can try it :) Anyways, here is the recipe...

Yummy Marinated Chicken In A Bag

Ingredients

16 ounces chicken breast cut into strips (no bone, no skin)
1 cloves garlic, chopped
3 tblsp lite soy sauce
1 tblsp sesame oil (I used olive oil)
1 tblsp rice wine vinegar
1 packet Splenda (or Sweetzfree)
1 tblsp chives (green onion)

Directions

Put chicken into a ziploc bag. Put the garlic, soy sauce, sesame oil (or olive oil), rice wine vinegar, and Splenda (or Sweetzfree) into ziploc bag. Seal and shake the bag to mix everything together well. Marinate for 1 hour. Add chicken to a non-stick skillet and stir-fry until the chicken is cooked and the marinade has boiled down a bit. Once on plate sprinkle with chives. DEEEELISH!!!

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 3
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 218.4
Total Fat: 6.4 g
Cholesterol: 87.6 mg
Sodium: 678.4 mg
Total Carbs: 1.7 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.0 g
Protein: 36.0 g

ENJOY!!!

at 9:18 PM

Hi everyone!!!
I have been very good these days, and am down 5 pounds this week. Of course it is the same damn 5 pounds I have been in for months now, but hey it's 5 pounds O_O
I am hopeful about getting below this 234 pound mark that I have been in for FOREVER now. I don't look at it as a bad thing though but as something POSITIVE!!! I have been maintaining for months...months. I have stayed between 234 and 240 for so long and that is such a wonderful thing. It gives my body a break and shows me I can maintain. I need to see the good in this and there is good in this. When I am mentally ready I KNOW the weight will start falling off again...I'm just not there yet, but am not straying from my low carb life...it is FOR LIFE for me. I hope everyone is well. I have had the flu :( I am going to post a recipe tomorrow I hope (next week at the latest). Thinking of you all *hugs*
Niki~

at 10:29 AM

Well, I had finals this week and I PASSED!!! HOLY CRAP!!! I can't believe I passed Anatomy & Physiology!!! I passed my health class too!!! So now I am off til summer...YAY!!! In the summer I am suppose to start the Phlebotomy program. The only reason I wouldn't is because of the waiting list I've been on FOREVER!!! So somehow I passed the 2 hardest classes I've ever taken, Anatomy and Medical Language...YUCK!!! If I didn't pass I was really thinking of going back to teaching...lol. I can't imagine EVER having to take Anatomy again. I'm soooooo happy it's over!!!

Michael is coming home on the 28th (next Friday), which is also our 4 year Anniversary. He goes home every 3 months to Delaware for 10-14 days. We decided a couple month ago that we are Eloping in 2010 to the Outer Banks, N.C. for a Beach Wedding. Getting married is not new, but finally having a YEAR is...lol. We have said that was what we were going to do for the past 2 years, but it is definite now...YAY!!! We have been waiting till he is finished with school (I'll be finished by this coming Winter, I hope). He'll be done then and we should be out of Georgia by then. Our plans are to move next July (2009). We just signed a new lease here and it is up then. I told my EX I am not staying any longer. I was told it would only be 3 years. By the time we leave it will be almost 5 years that I've been here...YUCK!!! So I'm done. I've served my time (I divorced him, and feel like I am serving a life sentence with him

BLAH!!!).

We may head up to Delaware, Maryland or PA...not sure yet. I just want to get out of GA

Today, I am getting ready for Easter. I have Serena tonight

She still believes in the Easter Bunny (I'll be so sad when that ends). Last night I went and bought a pack of Sugar Free Hershey bars with Carmel in the middle. I ate almost all of it in the car on the way home...how sick is that??? Mindless eating *sigh* I know they bother my stomach horribly and I did it anyways. I sent Michael a pic of all the wrappers in the car (here it is) and wrote...

"I NEED HELP"

I really do. Just seeing that pic makes me sick, and sad. Why would I eat something that I know is going to cause me so much pain??? That I know causes stalls and gains. Something that gives me terrible cravings. AND I'm up another pound this week...no wonder!!! Through and through I am an ADDICT. I can't pretend I'm not. I can't think "I'm fine". I just can't. I had 2 packages of them and put one back...whoopy!!! I still ate a whole pack of Sugar Free Candy

I tell myself "Well, at least it's sugar free, and so I'm not REALLY cheating". I am cheating myself out of a lot by eating this crap!!!

Okay, I'm done rambling about 20 different things...lol!!!

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Easter!!!

at 6:23 PM

I made the yummiest dinner. It was Shirataki Noodles with a cream cheese sauce. The recipe was on my friend Susanne's noodles...lol.
Anyways, here it is...

Creamy Shirataki Noodles

1 pack Shirataki Noodles
2 tbsp cream cheese
1 tsp sour cream
2 tsp Parmesan cheese (I used more)
Salt and Pepper to taste

Cook noodles. In a small bowl put cream cheese, sour cream and Parmesan cheese. Micro for about 20 seconds. Stir well. Mix with well drained noodles. Salt and pepper to taste.

I added extra Parmesan cheese, and some chicken that I had, and brussle sprouts on the side. Next time I'll add veggies to it. It called for the fettuccine noodles, but I didn't have that kind

I saw that you can also make it with the Swiss Laughing Cow Cheese instead of the Cream Cheese. I haven't had that cheese in FOREVER, but I bet it's good on it. Not sure if Laughing Cow cheese is Atkins friendly though.

Here it is...

***********EDIT************

Tonight I made this again...lol. I got the Fettuccine Shirataki Noodles and the Laughing Cow Cheese. I used laughing Cow Cheese instead of cream cheese. It was DEELISH!!! I actually like it either way :)

at 3:01 PM

Hi all :)

I have been soooo busy. Finals are next week. I have 2 tests TODAY still...BLAH!!! I haven't been posting as much as I would like. As soon as school is out (the end of next week) I'll be around again.

My weight loss has been ZERO!!! I'm gaining actually. I haven't cheated, and am starting to wonder if it's all mental. Hmmm, well, part of it mental at least. I am not exercising at all like I use to. Fitday I started slacking on again. I think I get discouraged. I also think I hate the way I look and am afraid to keep losing so I just don't even try. I'm not eating ANYTHING off plan, but I do think a lot of my old habits have crept back in like bingeing and out of control eating. I'm stressed so I want to eat. I'm depressed so I want to eat. I have anxiety so I want to eat. I feel like my life is out of control so I eat with no control to show myself AGAIN how out of control I am.

I could go on and on. I have a lot of serious thinking to do. Obviously part of me loves low carb and am committed because I haven't cheated in over a year..that must mean something. My problem is there is still that monster living inside of me, that is THE ADDICT.

Well, that's my rambling for the day :) I'm off to school for test number one and then I come home and take my second test online. Finals next week. Oh, I bought a much needed new camera so I should be cooking again and taking lots of pics :) Maybe even making some youtube videos again. I am actually thinking about video blogging...maybe??? I yap, and yap though so I don't know...lol.

Okay so much for my QUICK update :) Hope everyone is well!!!
Peace ^_^V

at 9:42 PM

I had a nice weekend and I had a good day today. Serena and I went to a cemetery and had an AWESOME time together. She LOVED it!!! I started a separate blog for my Taphophilia "hobby" at

http://taphophiliaholic.blogspot.com/

for anyone who is interested O_o

I had a yummy dinner. Pizza on a flat out wrap (I made this before with Serena, but we made pizza that looked like rats...lol). I haven't made one in FOREVER!!! All I do is get a "Flat out wrap". They sell them at Publix, Kroger and Walmart. I put it in the oven till it's crispy (at 425* for 5-8 minutes). I remove it from the oven (I have found that if I don't toast it in the oven first it turns out really soggy). Then I put 1 tblsp low carb pizza or past sauce on it. Cheese, and toppings of your choice. I put mushrooms and red pepper tonight. Pesto is also yummy on it, and I love Sundried tomatoes, spinach and fetta cheese on it *licks lips*. I put it back in the oven till everything melts. My 7 year old daughter loves it too...that's always a plus

I want to wish you all a WONDERFUL week!!!
Your love and support means the world to me, and I really can't say that enough *hugs*

at 6:34 PM

I also tried this today...

Cauliflower Bread Sticks. Thanks for the link PJ!!! They were okay. I need to try making them again too. I think I will make pizza crust instead. They were a little moist (I will try squeezing a lot of the moisture out of the cauliflower next time, and making them thinner). I also think I need to cook it a little longer. It wasn't a great cooking day for me...lmao

Here is the recipe and a pic I took. When I make the pizza, I will let you know if that came out any better for me. I don't think it was the recipe. I think it was just me today

Cauliflower Bread Sticks

1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower*
1 egg
1 cup mozzarella cheese (it came to 3oz for me)
1/2 tsp fennel
1 tsp oregano
2 tsp parsley

Save to add after first cooking
1/2 oz mozzarella cheese
1 tblsp parmesan cheese
garlic salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a greased 9X3 loaf pan, press about 1-1/2" deep cauliflower pizza dough. If any is left, use for pizza.

Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes, or until set. With a spatula loosen the dough around the edges and remove the square of dough to a greased cookie sheet.

With a pizza cutter, slice strips through the set dough. Separate slightly. Sprinkle with garlic salt and/or extra mozzarella cheese.I also put Parmesan cheese on top (the recipe didn't call for it, but I like it). Bake at 450 degrees until the top browns.

Serve with marinara sauce (optional).

Here is my pic

at 6:19 PM

Okay, I tried to make these and I failed miserably....bahahahahaha!!! "Oopsie Rolls" is a good name for them

LMAO!!!
They came out flat as pancakes, but they were still good (Ummmm, I ate them all...ridiculous!!! Now I know to cut the recipe in half next time). It made 6. On one I sprinkled a little splenda and cinnamon, and on another I put a little grated cheese. I need to try making them again. I'm not sure what I did wrong. Here is the recipe and some pics...

Cleochatra's Best Ever Revol-Oopsie Rolls

3 large eggs
1 pkg Splenda
dash of salt
pinch of cream of tartar
3 ounces cream cheese (not Tbsp!) Do not soften!

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Separate the eggs and add Splenda, salt, and cream cheese to the yolks. Use a mixer to combine the ingredients together. In a separate bowl, whip egg whites and cream of tartar until stiff (if you're using the same mixer, mix the whites first and then the yolk mixture). Using a spatula, gradually fold the egg yolk mixture into the white mixture, being careful not to break down the whites. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick spray and spoon the mixture onto the sheet, making 6 mounds. Flatten each mound slightly.

Bake about 30 minutes (You want them slightly softer, not crumbly). Let cool on the sheet for a few minutes, and then remove to a rack and allow them to cool. Store them in a bread sack or a ziplock bag to keep them from drying out.

Makes 6@ about 85 calories a piece, >1 carb each

And here are my pics

Big and round O_O

Bahahahaha!!! Flatter than a pancake!!!

at 10:14 PM

Meaning: Taphophilia is the non-morbid love of funerals, graves, and cemeteries.

This has nothing to do with weight loss, but it is a little bit about me :) And I am an odd one :D

So I don't think I have ever blogged about this, but, I have a really weird obsession with cemeteries, and I have had it all my life (at least as far back as I can remember). I LOVE them!!! The older the better. I can look around them all day long. In California I use to go ALL the time. I even got my best friend, Michelle, going with me and loving them too. For YEARS it was our favorite thing to do together. There weren't any real old ones in California. There are older ones here in the South. I saw some from the 1800's!!! I am dying to go to Europe in part to find old cemeteries...lol.

I think it all started when I was little and my mom would take my sister and I to see old movie stars graves in California. We'd even have picnics there...bahahahaha!!! I always looked forward to going. I always wanted to go, and as I have gotten older it really became a place of peace for me. If I'm stressed or sad it's where I want to go. I can't explain why I love it so much. I love seeing the head stones. I love reading the Epitaph's. I think they're beautiful. I love the statues, the crosses (there were none today, but a lot of very old head stones).

I've really missed going. I've also missed having someone to go with (like Michelle). I would always call her early on the weekends and say, "Wanna get away???" and she knew I wanted to go to the cemetery. We would lay out there for hours, walk around, listen to music, read the head stones, clean them off. OMG, it really sounds crazy O_O

Michael said he wants to go with me next time. He's gonna go nuts...lmao!!! I take tons of pics. I read everything. I could spend ALL DAY there. When I went today I just went. I didn't tell anyone, I just left, and wondered about for at least an hour. I left only because it was going to get dark soon, and this cemetery was in the woods. It made me feel good to be there. I need to go more. I think it's very therapeutic for me (as crazy as that may sound). It made me very calm and peaceful.

I love taking pics. I need to find some cemeteries here that have some angels, celtic crosses and things. Michael took me to a very old Cemetery in Baltimore, Maryland a few years ago cause I was dying to see Edgar Allan Poe's grave. Here I am at it :)

And I weighed about 330 in this pic O_O

So there is a little odd tid-bit about me :) I think you may be seeing a lot more pics and hearing a lot more about it from me. I got a taste of it again today, and now I can't wait to go back out there...grave hunting!!!

graves7.jpg picture by Xainya

at 10:04 AM

Hi all :)
Well, after my amazing gain of over 6 pounds last week O_O I managed to lose 5.6 pounds this week. I think a lot of different factors came into play with this one. FIRST, I really need to eat more veggies. I haven't been getting the majority of my carbs from veggies lately (this has been going on for months actually). I upped my veggies A LOT this week, and upped my carbs 5 more. I also haven't had a diet soda all week and no frankencrap foods.

With School, work, home, everything, it has been very easy for me to slack, and grab an Atkins Bar, or a big diet soda, not put every bite of food into fit dat and so on. I actually have a million excuses I could use...lol :/ I prayed a lot on this. I need to start taking more time for ME. I am always going, never enjoying anything. I also need more quality time with Serena which I have already started.

I feel really good right now. I have been getting things done around the apartment too which makes me feel good. It scares me at the same time cause it could mean I'm in mania (which is possible) and with mania comes a CRASH!!! I am hopeful that it's not that, and that I am just feeling good eating healthy, and making possitive changes in my life :)

Already today I have had alot of good veggies. I had a Spinach and Mushroom Omelet for breakfast, and for lunch I had Spaghetti Squash with tomato sauce and some of my coconut fried chicken on top sprinkled with parmesan.
YUMMO!!!

I hope everyone is having a FANTASTIC weekend!!!
Peace ^_^V

at 12:33 AM

So tonight I made Broccoli Slaw so it could sit over night (Slaw always taste better if you let it sit over night). I tasted it and it was GOOD!!! I can't wait to have it tomorrow. I used Linda's Coleslaw recipe, but cut it in half. Here is what I did...

Broccoli Slaw

Ingredients

1 12 oz bag of Broccoli Slaw
.5 cup mayonnaise
2 tblsp Splenda
1 tblsp white vinegar
1/4 tsp celery seed
dash pepper
dash salt

Directions

Mix the mayonnaise, Splenda, vinegar and spices in bowl. Mix in Broccoli Slaw to coat. Chill several hours or over night before serving.

Nutritional Info - *4 servings*

Servings Per Recipe: 4
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 237.4
Total Fat: 25.0 g
Cholesterol: 20.8 mg
Sodium: 182.2 mg
Total Carbs: 6.2 g
Dietary Fiber: 2.1 g
Protein: 2.1 g

4 NET CARBS

Nutritional Info - *6 servings*

Servings Per Recipe: 6
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 152.2
Total Fat: 16.0 g
Cholesterol: 13.3 mg
Sodium: 116.8 mg
Total Carbs: 4.0 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.3 g
Protein: 1.3 g

3 NET CARBS

at 10:37 AM

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in awhile. One of our cats got out almost two weeks ago. We have 3, Maggie, Delilah, and OshiBo. Maggie is 16, Delilah is 13 and OshiBo just turned 2 this past October. We think OshiBo was sitting pressed up against the screen on the window in our bedroom and it pushed out in the corner and she went out. We put posters with her pic up and looked everywhere. 2 days later someone called and said she was killed by a car. I have just been sick over the whole thing. I feel terrible, and I miss her so much :(

So, this week I have somehow managed to put on 6 POUNDS!!! I don't really understand, except that I ate some SF candy, and some Atkins bars (mostly because I was depressed and wanted something sweet). I also haven't put everything in fitday AGAIN. Even so, how the hell could I have put on 6 pounds in one week. Now I could have EASILY done that before I started lowcarbing, but now??? I haven't been bingeing, I haven't eaten off plan (EXCEPT for the SF candies and Atkins bars which I know stall me, but gain???). I feel like my body just likes being in the upper 230's to low 240's. OR is it that I like it. I have talked before about how depressed I have gotten over losing weight. Maybe subconsciously I am stopping myself??? Maybe I am just to afraid??? I don't know. I am thinking of going back on induction (I hate the thought of doing that, and if I do, do I start EVERYTHING all over, like every rung??? BLAH!!!). I am wondering also if changing things like I switched to half & half instead of heavy whipping cream is making a difference??? The half & half is less fat and calories. I switched to make the calories less, but in doing that it also made that fat less...I'm confusing myself now :/ I have also been slacking with exercising. The past 3 weeks I haven't. What's wrong with me :(

I just don't know what to do anymore. I got somethings at the store yesterday, and fitday is a MUST!!! I am planning my food this week. NO sf candies or Atkins bars. 6 pounds in a week scares the crap out of me. I REFUSE to be that 350 pound girl again!!! I need to take control of my weightloss again. I want this!!! I need this for myself and my daughter :(

Well, there I am...a mess again...

at 2:17 PM

Hi all,
I came up with this recipe today and it was really tasty!!! I love canned green beans (LMAO). I can eat them cold right out of the can :) I'm weird!!! I made it one serving size (that's a whole can of green beans) cause that was easy for me and sometimes I can eat a whole can, but it can be 2-4 servings (just divide the nutritional info). You can also use fresh green beans :)

Anyways, I wanted to spruce them up a bit. So here's what I did...

Niki's Sweet and Spicy Green Beans

Ingredients

1 Can Green Beans
.5 tblsp Sesame Oil
1 tblsp Rice Wine Vinegar
.5 tsp Splenda or 1-2 drops Sweetzfree (it just depends on how sweet you like it)
Sprinkle of Red Pepper Flakes (how ever much you like)
Dash of Five Spice (optional and you really don't need it)
Pinch Sesame Seeds (optional)

Directions

Heat green beans (I like them cold...lol). Mix Sesame Oil, Rice Vinegar and splenda together. (you can warm in micro if you like). Drain green beans and pour oil mixture over top. Mix well. Sprinkle on top Red Pepper flakes, Five Spice and Sesame Seeds. Mix and serve. If you like it sweeter add more Splenda. I tend to like things sweet so I would play around with the ingredients to see what you like :)

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 146.0
Total Fat: 7.9 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 1,415.2 mg
Total Carbs: 14.8 g
Dietary Fiber: 7.3 g
Protein: 3.9 g

7 NET CARBS

ENJOY!!!

***EDIT***
Here is the Nutritional info for 2 Servings :)

Servings Per Recipe: 2
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 73.0
Total Fat: 4.0 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 707.6 mg
Total Carbs: 7.4 g
Dietary Fiber: 3.6 g
Protein: 1.9 g

4 NET CARBS

at 10:58 PM

Today I have been low carbing for exactly 1 year...Amazing!!! I amaze myself :)
I am out of my "stall" officially and am at 234.4 today!!! The 220's are getting closer and closer.
In the last year I have lost 85.6 pounds and am soooo happy about that. From my heaviest weight I am down 115.6 pounds....crazy!!!

I've learned a lot this past year. FIRST that I CAN DO THIS!!! I haven't cheated at all this last year and am really proud of myself. That being said, I have also come to realize that although I haven't cheated I still am an emotional eater and have had a few binges (legal foods, but binges). So I still have a lot of "mental and emotional" work to do.

I know my body better than I ever have which feels good. I have energy like I've never had before. I FEEL GOOD!!!

I'm exercising for the first time in my life. I swam with my daughter for the first time EVER this past summer. I went to the beach in a swim suit for the first time since I was 10 years old (or close to it). I fit in booths comfortably. I flew and the seat belt fit comfortably and I could even pull it so it had extra hanging. I can cross my legs, and when I sit in the car or a chair I can see the seat!!! I LOVE to cook!!! I use to hate it...lol :) All these new wonderful things still amaze me. Everyday things that people never even think about. My diabetes has reversed. I have a normal A1C and blood sugar counts. AND I'm no longer on ANY diabetes meds!!!

There are to many things to mention. The more I lose the more things change. I can't wait till I can get in even small clothes and shop at a REAL store. That's my next big step. I can fit in some 18's, but I need to still get smaller to REALLY shop :) That is one of the things I'm looking forward to in this next year. I am hoping to get the rest of the weight off in this next year too. I am trying to take it slow and tell myself this is not a race ( a lot of people do that), and it is about getting healthy.

Well, I just wanted to share a little and let everyone know where I am right now with my weight loss. It has been an amazing year of ups and downs for me. I've learned a lot, and am looking forward to another year SUGAR FREE!!!

As ALWAYS, thank you so much for all the love and support. It's so important to have on this journey...for me anyways :)

Peace all ^_^V
Niki~

at 3:37 PM

LMAO at the picture which has nothing to do with my "Stall" post. I sometimes find myself stupidly amusing :) Bahahaha!!!

Well, I figured it out. It's CALORIES!!! I don't care what anyone says because I believe everyBODY is different. I am one of those people who has to watch there calories (even on Atkins), and carbs of course. I had stopped when I was trying to maintain. I had also stopped using fitday which I used religiously for about 9 months. When I stopped using fitday I stopped losing. When I started again this past week I FINALLY got under 237 (I have been bouncing between 243 and 237 since October). I have NEVER been under 237 so I'm excited, and even more excited to be headed for the 220's. I will weigh in Friday because that is my one year mark, February 1st. In this first year I haven't had a single cheat...not a one!!! I am hoping to be at about 235....we shall see.

I can not eat over 1500 calories (I believe) or I just don't lose. That's just the way my body works...sad but true :) That's okay. I always eat at least 1400 calories a day and I'm satisfied. Anyways, I think I solved the MYSTERY...lol. We'll see over the next few weeks.

Thanks for all the great advise and support. And Big Daddy, you keep walking :) It's good for you :D

Peace all ^_^V
Niki~

at 9:04 PM

Okay, can you guys tell I like PEANUT BUTTER?!?!?! LMAO!!! I do :)
I never use to, but now I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!! You do have to be careful because it can cause cravings. It doesn't for me (or does it??? O_O), but macadamia nuts and cashews DO!!! I LOVE peanut butter fudge, but I want to eat it ALL!!! So I don't make it :( I changed up the recipe. I omitted the butter, changed the amounts, and made a ONE serving DEEEELISH peanut butter desert. It comes out really gooey!!! YUM!!! Michael LOVED it too!!! That always makes me happy :) Here is is...

Niki's Peanut Butter Goo

1 tblsp Creamy Peanut Butter, Natural
.5 oz Cream Cheese
1/2 scoop Designer Whey, French Vanilla (I may try chocolate next time)
1 tblsp DaVinci Sugar Free Syrup, Vanilla (or whatever flavor you like...carmel is good too)
Sweetzfree or one pack splenda.

Heat the cream cheese and peanut butter in the micro for about 10 seconds. Mix until well blended. Add Syrup, Splenda, and Whey. Mix well. It will be a very gooey consistency. I like it like that, but you can put it in the freezer for 15-20 minutes to firm it up a little. This makes one serving and is sooooo good. I love how gooey it is :) I added an extra carb for the SF Davinci Syrup because it's made with splenda. I use so little in the recipe that I doubt it is one carb for it, but it's better to be safe than sorry :)

It's...
190 calories
14 g Fat
5 NET CARBS

If you use Splenda (and not Sweetzfree) please add the carbs for that.

Enjoy :)

at 9:17 PM

I got this recipe idea online and Oh my is it ever YUMMY!!!

I did a couple things different from the original recipe, and it came out DIVINE!!!

I made just one :)

Creamy Pesto & Sun Dried Tomato Chicken

4 oz Chicken Breast (butterflied...I think that's what it's called...lol)

1 oz Cream Cheese

2 tblsp Pesto Sauce

1 tblsp Sun Dried Tomatoes

1 tblsp Parmesan Cheese (optional)

Mix cream cheese, 1 tblsp pesto, and sun dried tomatoes together in small bowl. Butterfly Chicken (cut in middle to make a pocket). Stuff chicken with cheese mixture. Press to close (they used toothpicks to close, but I didn't need any). Put remaining tblsp of pesto over chicken. Cook at 425* for 25-30 minutes (or until done). You can also sprinkle a little parmesan on top :)

This would be really yummy on spaghetti squash. I like the cream cheese mixture and think it would be good on celery sticks or WASA crisp bread crackers :) The one chicken breast comes out to about 450 calories and 6 net carbs, but it all depends on your pesto sauce really. It's high in calories because of the oil in the pesto sauce.

I can't wait to make it again.

at 5:17 PM

Hi all,

I saw this recipe online and Ooooo, it's yummy. I changed it a bit because it was a little thick for me. I used less cream and more water, andI added some DaVinci Syrup. I also added different things like Cinnamon, Nuts, Maple Extract (not all at once of course). Anyways whatever u like :) Try different things. Here's the recipe....

Hot Flax Cereal

2 tblsp Flax seed meal (I use golden)

3 tblsp Half and Half (or Heavy Whipping Cream)

3 tblsp water

1-2 tsp DaVinci Syrup, Vanilla (or any flavor you like...carmel is REALLY good)

Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

1 tblsp butter

Mix everything together in a microwave safe bowl (except butter...add at end). Microwave for 1.5 - 2 minutes (the longer you cook it the thicker it gets). You can add anything else you like...cinnamon, banana extract and nuts, berries, etc. I really enjoyed this. I liked it more than the "Muffin in a Minute" :)

Calories 222

3 NET CARBS

I add 2 carb for the half and half and 1 for the DaVinci Syrup because it has Splenda in it just to be on the safe side. ALSO, if you use splenda, and not sweetzfree, be sure to add those carbs too. I use Sweetfree which has zero carbs. The calories are based on using half and half. If you use heavy whipping cream the calories would be higher. I've had it with both and it tastes GREAT made with either one!!!

Now, if you add other things like nut or fruit you need to add in those carbs too.

Enjoy :)

***EDIT***

I changed the recipe a bit. It really was to thick so I added much more creamer and water and it came out much, much better. I already changed the recipe above. Remeber the longer you cook it the thicker it gets.

at 12:14 PM

I have a problem. I have been in a stall for a couple of months now. Several months ago I decided to try and maintain for a couple of months because I got depressed losing weight (crazy, I know), and did GREAT maintaining!!! I stayed between 242 and 237. It's been about a month and a half and I am now stuck between 242 and 237. I am going to post my weekly weight loss since I started so you can see the pattern. I haven't changed anything. I have NEVER since I started gone over 30 carbs. I am exercising 3 times a week (I even rode the exercise bike for 15 miles yesterday

I wanted to stop after 2 miles...lmao!!! My legs were DYING!!!. I don't know what to do about the stall

It's discouraging. Any ideas?? Suggestions??? Has anyone heard of Carb Cycling??? What about eating a bunch of C R A P f or a week or two to put my body into shock and then go back to lowcarb

I'm deathly afraid to do that, but I have heard of people doing it. I have heard your body gets use to lowcarb and stops losing

Why does it seem like doing low carb is so complicated??? There is always something that changes, or your body all of a sudden can't tolerate things it could before???

Anyways here are my stats *sigh* ANY help would be sooooo appreciated!!!

Highest Weight 350
Starting Weight 2/1/07~320
Current Weight 1/10/08- 240.6

February 2007
2/1/07 320
2/8 311.2 -8.8
2/11 311.4 + 0.2 (I was eating Atkins bars and drinking Atkins shakes...EVIL!!!)
2/22 307.2 - 4.2

March
3/1 306.0 -1.2
3/8 304.4 -1.4
3/15 301.8 -2.6
3/22 299.0 -2.8
3/29 293.0 -6

April
4/5 290.8 -2.2
4/12 289 -1.8
4/18 284 -5
4/26 282.4 -1.6

May
5/3 280 -2.4
5/10 278 -2
5/17 276 -2
5/24 275.2 -.8
5/31 271.2 -4

June
6/7 270.6 -.4
6/14 270 -.6
6/21 265 -5 (my lowest weight since I was 16-17 years old).
6/28 263.8 -1.2

July
7/5 264 +.2
7/14 267 +3 O_O I was on vacation, but stayed on plan. I just didn't drink my water...yep, that's my story!!!
7/19 259.6 -7.4!!! YAY!!! Lost the water weight and a few more!!!
7/26 258.6 -1

August
8/2 258.4 -.2
8/9 258.6 +.2
8/16 256.6 -2
8/23 249.2 -7.4
8/30 243 -6.2

September
9/6 243 -0 (I have decided to maintain for at least a month to give my mind, body and spirit a break)
9/13 My scale is broken *sigh* I'll update when I get a new one...
9/20 ....
9/27 ....
October
10/4...
10/11 242.4 (per my NEW scale and the Dr's scale).
10/18 239.2 -3.2
10/25 239.2 -0

November
11/1 241.2 +2
11/8 241.6 +.4
11/15 243.6 +2 (I really don't know why I'm up 2 pounds *sigh*)
11/22 237 -6.6
11/29 238.4 +1.4

December
12/6 237.6 -.8
12/13 238 +.4 I'm starting to think I'm stuck in a stall BLAH!!!
12/20 In Colorado...no weigh in
12/27 239 +1

JANUARY 2008
1/3 238.4 -.6
1/10 240.6 +2.2

at 6:32 PM

Hi,
I found in my Vegetarian Magazine a GREAT recipe for a Peanut Sauce that you use to dip Broccoli in. I had to change a few things because I didn't have cilantro (u can add it if you like...I'm not a fan), and I also added red pepper flakes. I LOVED it!!! I had it with 4oz of Broccoli which is not added in the counts below. But it is 39 calories, 5.7 carbs and 2.2 fiber...3.5 net carbs. So the total with the Broccoli is 8.5 carbs. It's really DEEEELISH!!! Here is the recipe and a pic :)

Peanut Butter Sauce and Broccoli

Ingredients

2 tbsp Natural Peanut Butter
1/2 tbsp Soy Sauce, lite
1/2 tsp Cider Vinegar
1/2 clove Garlic
Dash Cayenne Pepper
Dash Red Pepper Flakes
4 drops Sweetzfree or 1/2 tsp Splenda

Directions

Mix all ingredients in a small bowl together. If thick add a little water to thin out a little. Do not make it to thin...it needs to be a little thick.
Use as a dipping sauce for fresh Broccoli. You could also boil broccoli for 2-3 minutes to it's still firm, but warm and bright in color.

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 195.6
Total Fat: 16.1 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 264.1 mg
Total Carbs: 7.0 g
Dietary Fiber: 2.1 g
Protein: 8.4 g

5 NET CARBS

at 7:08 PM

Hi all,
I decided to try the Cream Cheese Pancake recipe I posted in my Belgian Waffle maker and it came out WONDERFUL!!! Oooooh, it was soooo good. I cut the original recipe in half and it made one huge waffle. Here is the recipe and a pic :D

Belgian Waffle

Ingredients
1 large eggs
2 oz Cream Cheese
Sweetzfree (to taste) or Splenda
Dash of Cinnamon, ground
.5 tbsp Flax Seed Meal (ground flax)

DIRECTIONS
Place the egg whites in a separate bowl and beat with electric mixer until stiff peaks appear.
Place the cream cheese in a large bowl and beat with the mixer until smooth. Beat in the egg yolks and the the sweetener, cinnamon, salt and flaxseed meal. Fold in the egg whites.
Pour into Belgian waffle maker until golden brown,

Can be served with Butter, Fruit, Whipped Cream...whatever you like. It's great plain!!!

Nutritional facts

Calories 291
Fat 26
Carb 3.5
Fiber 1
NET CARB 2.5

ENJOY!!! :D

at 4:52 PM

Hi all,
I'm back home, safe and sound. It was a very long 8 days away. My sister is doing well. She's home and doesn't have any brain damage...thank God. She should be coming out here in the next few weeks to stay for awhile. Several months I am guessing, maybe longer. She needs some peace in her life (we all could use some of that :) ). She has been living with my mom for the past 3 years, and it is just to stressfilled and all the stress is a trigger for her. I was stressed as soon as I got there. My mom is hard to deal with. It's like dealing with a 3 year old. I think she just doesn't know how to be a mom...she's to self centered. I love my mom and feel bad for her. She's had a hard life, and it has turned her into a very bitter, self centered woman...it's just sad to me. I wish I could help her. I wish I could help my sister. All I can do is be there for them ALWAYS. We all have our own path. I can't change anything. I can't make my sister well...I can't make my mom well. All I can do is be there for them, and love them.

I'm depressed myself. Esp today. I'm not to sure why. Maybe now that I'm home, the stress of it all is catching up to me. My mom fought with me a lot while I was there (I'm the calm quiet one in the family, and I don't like screaming or fighting). I think she wants someone to be angry at or to fight with. She can be very abusive and cruel. At one point when she was having a fit I just thought, "OMG, she is a part of me" and it made me really sad. She did and said stuff in front of my daughter that I still can't believe. I'm just really sick over it all. Now my sister is left there for about 3 weeks. She is planning on driving out here with her friend so she has her car. She doesn't want to leave it. If she would leave it she could come this week, but she really doesn't want to :( I hope she'll be okay for a few more weeks.

Just writing this I feel overwhelmed so I'm stopping for now. I hope everyone is well, and again I appreciate soooo much all the love and prayers. It's good to be home :)

Peace ^_^V
Niki

at 9:58 PM

Hi all,
I'm leaving in the morning for Colorado and won't be back until Saturday December 22nd. I will write as soon as I get home. My sister is doing much better and is taking now which is a VERY good sign :) I have slept MAYBE 5 hours over the last 3 days so I'm DEAD. I have an awful headache too. I just wanted to let everyone know. Thank you for the love and prayers <3

OH, I also think I am in a stall with my weight loss. I am staying in the same range I did when I maintained for those couple of months. I go between 242 and 237. I have been in that range for months now even though I have been trying to get out of it...so weird. I will stay on plan even in Colorado :) Hopefully the scale will start moving down soon.

Take care everyone :)

Peace ^_^V
Nicole~

at 10:21 PM

4:12pm

Hi all,
PLEASE, PLEASE pray for my sister. She is missing and took a lot of pills with her. She turned her phone off. She is Rapid Cycle Bi-Polar. Last time she had a suicide attempt she parked away in a parking lot so we wouldn't find her but we did because of her phone. Please pray for her. Please God...I'm so scared. I love her so much. I called her at 11am this morning, that is the last call she took before she turned her phone off. She was headed east. I don't know where she is. Please pray for her. God, please help her, and my mom too. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. Thank you everyone for the prayers.

Peace, Nicole~

9:02pm *UPDATE*

Hi,
I only have a minute. They found her in a garage at a friends house, in her car, unconscious, barely breathing with her Living Will and Letters to all of us

She took TONS of pills and I think the car was running (she has carbon monoxide poisoning...I think that's what it's called). She is in ICU on a ventilator. They don't know what's going to happen or if she'll make it. I am praying she will. I can't begin to describe the fear I've had all day. First the not knowing where she was, and now not knowing if she'll live, and if she does what damage she'll have. I am hopefully, but GOD I am just sick over it all and can't stop crying. I am flying out this week. I would leave now, but I don't have the money (have I ever mentioned how much being poor SUCKS???). Anyways I am hoping to be flying out in the next couple of days. I feel helpless, and I want to be with her so much. I could never put into words how much love I have for my sister. We're so close. We talk at least 4 times a day. I just can't imagine life without her. Rapid Cycle Bi-Polar (even Bi-Polar itself) is such an awful mental illness. I can't even think. I just wanted to update everyone. I hope this made sense. When I know more I'll post more. Thank you so much for all your love, prayers and support. It all helps more than you know

at 9:03 PM

Hi all,
Tonight Serena and I made "Tacos in a cup" :D I got the idea from a blog here on blogger. They were made with Tacobell tortillas??? Anyways, I decided to make them with Flatout wraps. I took a bowl and cut two circles out of each Flatout wrap. With the extra pieces of wrap I made chips. I put the circles in the microwave for about 10 seconds to get soft. Then I pressed them gently into muffin tins. I baked them at 350 for 10-15 minutes (the chips too on foil) until they got hard and crispy. I made ground beef with taco seasoning (I use Linda's taco seasoning recipe). Then you can put whatever you like on them. I put ground beef, sharp cheddar cheese, lettuce, salsa, sour cream and olives...YUMMY!!! I wish I had avocado. Anyways it was delish and low carb. The flat wraps are 6 carbs (I ate two bowls and 6 chips which equaled one wrap) and they rest of the carb count just depends on what you put on them. They're small, but good :) And Serena gobbled them up!!!

Here's some pics, and we made a video which should be up later tonight or tomorrow :D

Taco cups

Chips

Taco in a cup

at 9:53 AM

Serena and I :)
at the gym!!!

Her favorite thing to do is the treadmill :)

She likes the rowing machine too...lol

I just wanted to add a few pics of Serena and I from the gym yesterday :)
We're having so much fun together!!!

at 9:00 PM

I don't have a lot of time, but I really wanted to post :)
Yesterday I started Serena in a program here called Fit for Youth. It's for kids 5-12 that need to work on their health :) Serena is already over weight. I worry so much about her, cause I see ME. One of the things that makes it difficult is that her dad (my EX) also has a weight problem. He is a Yoyoer who at the moment is out of control with his weight and eating. He is back up to 300 pounds (or pretty darn close to it....when we met he was 165). When we divorced I gave him 50/50 custody of Serena. Why, because I was trying to do the right thing for Serena. Anyways that is a whole other story. My point is it is very hard to get him to agree on how to feed her. It's so incredibly frustrating. I tried talking to him the other night. If I don't talk a certain way he just hangs up on me. BLAH!!! GOD, I am sooooo glad I'm divorced. I was so afraid to leave, but OMG, so glad I did. It was the best thing I ever did.

ANYWAYS...lol...I got Serena in this program, and she likes it!!! Which is GREAT!!! She's so darn picky and lazy (like me...lol). The great thing about this is that I can go with her. So we both walked on the treadmill tonight, we rode the bike, stretched, and it was AWESOME!!! She was with her class, but her class is in the gym with everyone else, so she would get on the treadmill next to me or the bike next to me :) It's $40 a month for her, and I am just paying $5 every time I do it with her so I don't have to get a membership which is nice and less stressful.

Tonight I did a mile on the treadmill and 8 miles on the bike. I have been REALLY bad about exercise since school started :( Now I have a partner again, and I really think her and I are going to help each other more than we know :)

Well, I have to fold laundry, and make Serena's lunch for tomorrow.
I hope everyone is well :)
I feel better, and have really not been having those terrible cravings anymore...YaY!!!

Peace all ^_^V

at 7:57 PM

That's really what I feel like. A Junkie!!! I need/want a fix...a food fix!!! How sad is that???
Food is such an addiction for me. These last few days have been a HUGE reminder to me that I AM AN ADDICT. I will always be an addict. That's why it is so important I don't give into temptation. That I always keep myself and food in check. Like a junkie, one hit, one snort, one WHATEVER (for me one bite of food) can send you back, spiraling out of control back into that hell.

I have been a drug addict or should I say AM a drug addict because I believe once and addict ALWAYS an addict (clean 9 years this December though :) ). And being a drug addict I know for me that I can't be around it. I can't take one hit (pot was my drug of choice for many, many, many years). One hit, and that would be it for me. I would not be able to stop and I would continue to use. That's why I don't have it around, that's why I make sure I don't put myself in situations where I have that temptation. Because let me tell you, just because I haven't used drugs in 9 years does not mean I don't want it or that I don't think about it. I do think about it. I do want it. That never goes away, just like FOOD. Food is tough. You need it to live, BUT you don't need nasty unhealthy carbs to live. Keep in check...always keep yourself in check.

Wow, I can ramble :) I'm sleepy, and have a long rest of the week...BLAH!!!
I hope everyone is well, and happy :) And I hope I made sense up there...lol!!! I'm afraid to read it over :) Off to bed for me...
Peace all ^_^V

at 8:54 PM

I had a good day today. I'm SAD though, because that Peanut Butter Fudge has given me cravings *sigh* I LOVE IT!!! I WANT IT!!! I keep thinking about the stupid stuff AND I am eating non stop. That means that the fudge gave me cravings right??? All I want to do is eat, and all I keep doing is thinking of food, and I even went out and bought a protein bar and ate it in the car =-O It has to be the fudge...right??? Ooooo, I really, really liked the fudge. Now the protein bar is gonna give me cravings. What do you guys do when you are having cravings from something and want to eat non stop??? How do you make it stop??? I feel like a drug addict again

Oh, and can u tell me if this is from the fudge??? Is this what happens when something you eat triggers non stop eating and cravings????

Damn it all

Other than that everything is dandy

Oh, oh I ALSO bought Sugar Free Smooth and Creamy Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip Hard candies

I NEVER get those!!! WTF???

at 10:39 PM

Michael and I wanted something sweet to eat tonight...lol. He's so darn skinny *rolls eyes*
Anyways, I always look on Linda's site cause she has such amazing recipes!!! And I found a new one...Peanut Butter Fudge!!! It's so yummy!!! She has a little side note saying to make it with Unsalted butter because she thought it was to salty, so I did and it turned out great. Michael's really picky (like a little kid...lol), but he liked it too :)

Peanut Butter Fudge

1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup natural peanut butter
2 ounces cream cheese, softened
Sweetzfree or 1 cup granular Splenda
2/3 cup whey protein powder, vanilla flavor, 2 scoops

Melt the butter and peanut butter together in the microwave on HIGH for 1-2 minutes; whisk well. Whisk in the cream cheese until well blended and smooth. Whisk in the Sweetzfree or Splenda then the whey protein powder and blend well. Line a 7 x 5" baking dish with wax paper or nonstick foil. Spread the fudge mixture in the pan and chill or freeze until set. Cut into 20 squares. Store in the refrigerator or freeze.

Makes 20 pieces
Can be frozen

With granular Splenda:
Per Piece: 103 Calories; 9g Fat; 4g Protein; 3g Carbohydrate; trace Dietary Fiber; 2.5g Net Carbs
Per 2 Pieces: 207 Calories; 18g Fat; 7g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; .5g Dietary Fiber; 4.5g Net Carbs

With liquid Splenda:
Per Piece: 99 Calories; 9g Fat; 4g Protein; 1g Carbohydrate; trace Dietary Fiber; 1g Net Carb
Per 2 Pieces: 197 Calories; 18g Fat; 7g Protein; 3g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 2g Net Carbs

at 5:45 PM

I wrote this on October 24th, and just wanted to share it in my blog....

I THINK I'LL RUN AWAY

I think I'm going to run away today.
I think I'll buy a ticket and just go.
I'll sell that thing I drive.
I'll never look back.
I'll forget everything.
I'll forget everyone.
I'll just keep running...
and pray that while I'm running I lose myself along the way.

I was feeling so low. I was depressed for almost 4 months I think (I'm still a little depressed, but this was serious depression that I couldn't shake). I'm feeling better the las several days :) I hope it's finally passing. I am back to losing weight. I feel more positive and upbeat. I still get overwhelmed by my body, by the damage, the skin, the way it's changing. But hope can take you far, and I am very hopeful I will be able to get the much needed surgeries I'll need when the time comes. A lot of people are scared to have them. I'm not. I'll never be "perfect". I don't want to be. I just want to be happy, and have a body I can live with, without worrying about pounds and pounds of extra skin I have to tuck and try to hide. It's more than that even. It's uncomfortable. This is a biggie for me...I talk about it a lot :) I'm going to make a new video soon!!! I've been to depressed to, but I feel a lot better and am ready to. I may start video blogging and talk about weight loss for me. We shall see. I hope everyone is well and happy!!!
Peace all ^_^V

at 11:26 AM

OMG, before I forget!!! I found a picture of me and I almost died!!!

Isn't it lovely?!?!?! I was about 345-350 in that pic O_O

Here is a recent one I took with my camera phone in the car...lmao!!!

I look tired and a little sad :/ I'm 237 in this one :) YAY!!!

at 10:56 AM

Last week I decided to stop maintaining and start losing again. It's scary for me cause I'm not happy with my body and sagging skin that will only get worse as I continue. BUT, I need to keep going. Fear has kept me stuck all of my life. I will keep praying, and know in my heart that after all of this HARD work something will happen in my life, and I will be able to get the much needed surgeries I'm going to need. I just have to believe that.

So as of today I am down 6.6 pounds this week!!! I am 237 exactly. I feel safely in the 230's now and looking forward to those 220's.

It's still so hard to believe I am in the lower 200's. Being in the 300's for over 20 years is a long time. What's also strange is that I still feel like the same fat girl most of the time. I don't see a lot of changes (and that may be because of all the skin...I'm not sure).

Well, have a wonderful day all. I may write more later :)

Peace ^_^V

at 6:20 PM

Okay, I found this recipe in CARB WARS a cookbook and YUM is all I have to say. It's MUCH better than "Coconut Fudge". I had to make it a little different than the book because I didn't have 4 squares of chocolate...I only had 3. I also added walnuts to it. Here it is for all you chocolate lovers out there

Chocolate Coconut Candy

Ingredients

3 tbsp Coconut oil
.25 oz Walnuts
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
3 Squares Lindt Dark Chocolate 85% cocoa
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

Directions

Put all ingredients in microwave safe bowl.
Microwave for 1 minute or until melted. Mix well.
Put in freezer. Once frozen break or cut into little candy chunks.

Number of Servings: 3
Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 3
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 192.0
Total Fat: 20.0 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 5.2 mg
Total Carbs: 2.5 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.9 g
Protein: 1.4 g

at 6:16 PM

Well, I got bored and did some experimenting with Whey Protein Powder. This turned out yummy. Michael really liked it, and asked me to make it again =-O That's always good :)

Niki's Peanut Butter & Carmel Dessert

Ingredients

3/4 scoop French Vanilla Designer Whey Protein Powder
1 tbsp Creamy Peanut Butter, Natural
.75 tbsp butter
1/2 tbsp SF Davinci Carmel Syrup (or another flavor that you like)
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

Directions

Melt butter in micro. Add Syrup, Sweetzfree, Peanut Butter and Protein Powder. Mix well. May be a little crumbly. Put in Freezer for 15 to 20 minutes.
Enjoy!!!

Number of Servings: 1

Amount Per Serving
Calories: 238.9
Total Fat: 17.8 g
Cholesterol: 56.6 mg
Sodium: 166.3 mg
Total Carbs: 4.5 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.0 g
Protein: 17.6 g

at 1:25 PM

I was reminded today of the "Muffin in a minute" and I remembered how much I LOVED making these when I started Atkins. I had to make mine a little different than the original muffin in a minute recipe because on Atkins you can only have 2 tbsp of flax meal on induction *if needed* and it called for 4 tbsp if I remember correctly. I ate them a lot when I started in February

Then when I could add nuts in I did and this is what I came up with...

Maple Nut Muffin

1 egg
1 tbsp Olive oil or Coconut oil
2 tbsp flax meal (I use golden)
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 or 2 drops of Maple extract
1 tbsp Walnuts or Pecans
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste.

Mix well and microwave for 1-2 minutes (depends on ur microwave).
It's Yummy plain or with butter

You can add Banana extract and walnuts for a yummy "Banana Nut Muffin"

with cream cheese it's GOOOOD!!!

at 8:20 PM

Okay, today was my weigh in and I was up 2 pounds. I'm surprised it wasn't more, but thankful too. I have been back on track. No binges, WELL, my boss got me some Sugar Free Candy for Halloween (which was VERY sweet. They always buy candy for everyone, but he was thoughtful and got me SF...lol!!!) I ate to much of that I think :/ But I didn't have any regular candy...not even a taste. Other than the SF candy I have been doing really well. No binges although I still want to eat REALLY BAD!!! I've been trying to eat more fat hoping that will help. I think after another week I should be good (need to get that darn SF candy out of my system). I normally don't eat that stuff...I make my own tasty treats :)

I had school tonight, and a busy day at work so I'm tired. Also last night was LONG with taking Serena Trick-or-Treating :) I'm looking forward tot he weekend. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!!! You guys ALL mean a lot to me. I couldn't have come this far without every single one of you <3

Peace ^_^V
N~

at 1:02 PM

So, I have noticed a few things over the last couple of weeks (ESP the last week), that I am binging. I'm binging on lots of stuff. Then I'm craving A LOT, and binging some more. This is the first time since I have started that I have found myself doing this *sigh* I'm actually really disappointed in myself :(

It tells me a lot though. That I am always at risk for a slip. That as soon as I start slacking, EVERYTHING goes. That just because I've lost weight, it isn't a free pass to BINGE. It has reminded me that I'm still, and will always be an addict. Losing weight doesn't make you not an addict anymore (that's my opinion of course, and I DO consider myself an addict). Now, my binges have been on "legal" food. I have still not had a single cheat since I started on February 1st of this year, BUT a binge is a binge. I think I put on AT LEAST 5 pounds this past week (actually since Thursday). I'll know the true damage this coming Thursday.

I see myself going back to my old way of coping...FOOD!!! I'm still depressed as hell (God, I wish it would end). I want to eat. I still hate myself even though I have been trying very hard to love and care about myself...the truth is I just don't. I feel ugly. I feel disgusting. I HATE my body and how it looks and EVERY SINGLE change that has happened in regards to my body. I hate feeling like I look the same as I did 100 pounds heavier. I don't see changes, or at least good ones with my body.

I was doing really well at maintaining my weight now for almost 2 months. Then I started getting sloppy. Not keeping track of every bite of food I put in my mouth (I use fitday). Not drinking all my water. Not exercising (which I was doing 3-4 days a week).

I have a lot to think about :(
I'm back on track today. I've tracked EVERYTHING in fitday. I'm drinking my water. I'm doing everything I should be doing. It's hard though, and scary. I feel like I want to eat so bad. I don't know why. I haven't eaten anything today that would give me cravings. I just want to eat. I don't feel satisfied (or am I and I just don't know it now), but now I'm afraid of over eating again. I have created a big mess with myself. No sweets for me for awhile. Maybe till Thanksgiving, and then I'll make pumpkin pie. As you can see from my blog I like sweets O_O
They haven't given me a problem, but right now I feel like I need to be safe. I feel edgy cause I want something sweet. What's wrong with me :(

Wow, it's late and I have to go pick up Serena from school.
Thanks for listening everyone.
I belong to lowcarb boards, but this is where I get most of my support.
Thanks for always being there for me.
Peace ^_^V
N~

P.S. There is another difference this time for me too.
I'm a closet binge eater...this time I've stepped out of the closet.
I guess that's another step to healing...at least I hope so.
It was very hard for me to write all of this because my whole life I have kept my binges a secret. It feels scary and good at the same time.
Okay, bye :)

at 5:21 PM

I just made this and YUMMY!!! I wanted something Pumpkiny, and I didn't want to make a whole pumpkin pie so I looked around and decided to try mixing some canned pumpkin with Ricotta Cheese. It turned out sooooo good!!! It was so simple to make too. Here's what I did...

Niki's Pumpkin Dessert

Ingredients

1/4 cup of Ricotta Cheese
1 tbsp Pumpkin, canned
a pinch of Pumpkin Spice
a pinch of cinnamon
a pinch of nutmeg
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste
Nuts if desired (add in extra calories and carbs for them)

Directions

Mix all ingredients.
Sweeten to taste.
ENJOY!!!

Number of Servings: 1

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 121.0
Total Fat: 8.1 g
Cholesterol: 31.4 mg
Sodium: 53.7 mg
Total Carbs: 5.1 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.1 g
Protein: 7.4 g

I just put a little sprinkle of the spices (the cinnamon I sprinkled on top). Not sure if you need all the spices with the pumpkin spice, but I liked it :)
OH, and next time I'm adding nuts!!!

at 10:23 PM

Well, I FINALLY started Yoga!!!

I went this past Wednesday. I really had to force myself to go, but I'm So glad I did.
I LOVED IT!!!
My teacher is great :)
I love the studio it's at too.
I left feeling FULL of energy and really happy.
It was a nice change. I have still been fighting the depression, and really noticed that it helped.
Now after I exercise I always have energy, but this was different. I felt very energetic and very happy. I was going to go back on Friday, but OMGosh I was soooo sore. The day after just my shoulders were hurting (I think from the downward dog pose), but on Friday everything hurt...my ribs, my butt, my legs, arms, everything. I wounder if it's normal to have a little soreness the next day and then LOTS of pain 2 days later??? So I didn't push myself. I want my body to get use to it slowly, and I want to work up.

I have my own mat and am going to do it at home too. I have a couple DVD's too, but going to class is soooo much better. They don't have a lot of classes that fit around my schedule of work, school and being a mom, but I CAN go 2 days a week right now, and then after this quarter of school ends I can go more. I wish I could go to the morning classes. I love working out in the mornings.

Not to much else is happening with me. I have been staying between 238-241 for about a month and a half now...on purpose. After this week I may get on the ball and start trying to lose again. I think I'm ready. I really needed to give my body and mind a break from all the losing. It's been very hard on me mentally which I have talked about :)

I'm still going to my depression group which is helpful. AND having all of you helps me soooo much...truly. All of your support means A LOT!!! Thanks you everyone for all the love and support. I wouldn't be here without all of you :)

Peace ^_^V
Nicole~

at 4:37 PM

I saw this recipe on line, but it was made with Chocolate Whey and no nuts so I changed it up a bit. They were REALLY yummy!!! Even Michael loved them. Very, very tasty I must say :)

Vanilla Pecan Protein Bars

Ingredients

2 tbsp Coconut oil
1/4 cup DaVinci SF Vanilla Syrup
1/4 cup All Natural Peanut Butter
1/4 cup Almond Flour
1 cup (3 scoops) French Vanilla Designer Whey Protein Powder
1 oz Pecans, crushed
A few drops of Sweeetzfree (I like stuff SWEET...lol and Sweetzfree is THE BEST)

Directions

Mix all ingredients together well in a bowl. Press into a six mini loaf pan. Put in freezer for at least 15 minutes. DELISH!!!

Number of Servings: 6 bars

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 6
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 192.0
Total Fat: 15.2 g
Cholesterol: 22.5 mg
Sodium: 60.0 mg
Total Carbs: 4.2 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.5 g
Protein: 12.4 g

at 4:43 PM

I'm sooooo excited that it's finally starting to cool down. It's even started to rain a little :)
I LOVE Fall and Winter!!! They're my two favorite seasons.
The cold weather makes me in the mood for hot things to drink, and a favorite is hot chocolate...YUM!!!

Now I do have Swiss Miss "Diet" Hot Cocoa

But I haven't tried it yet. It has 25 calories and 3 net carbs which isn't bad AT ALL!!!
Be sure if you get this you get "Diet" and NOT the "No Sugar Added" one.

The one with "No Sugar Added" has less calories, but has 9 net carb.

So, I usually make my own hot cocoa. I use...

1 cup Almond Milk, unsweetened
1 tbsp Hershey's Cocoa Powder, unsweetened
1 tbsp Heavy Whipping Cream
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste
1 Shot of SF Davinci Vanilla Syrup (if desired...you can also use any flavor you like...chocolate would probably be nice)

After, I whip up a little heavy whipping cream to add on top and sprinkle with a little cocoa powder. It's DELISH!!!
It's 110 Calories (without the whip cream on top) and 3 net carbs with the Sweetzfree. If you use Splenda the carb count would be slightly higher.
Enjoy!!!

at 7:14 PM

Well, I'm in the 230's...239.2 to be exact. For over a month now I have been trying to maintain and did well. The stress of weight loss has been really hard on me. I've talked about this before.
I'm still depressed over it. I'm not really trying to lose weight right now, but just trying to get use to where I'm at. It is nice though to be in the 230's :) It makes me want to hit the 220's :) BUT it's so scary at the same time. With every pound I wonder, "What the hell is going to happen next to my body". BLAH!!! It's so gross!!!

Michael is so supportive and understanding...I'm so thankful for that. Tonight we were laying down together hugging and I looked at my arms (they were wrapped around his neck), and all I saw was skin, wrinkly, sagging, and this was on my lower arms (the upper arms are hopeless already). I thought my lower arms would be okay, but they're not. When I saw them I started to cry. Well first I got incredibly sad and overwhelmed, then I cried. Is there going to be any part of my body that will be okay...my shoulders, MAYBE?!?!?!

I also find myself pulling on my skin a lot, squeezing it and things. It just feels so weird, and I feel so squishy all over. Not that thick, fat feeling, but this mushy, squishy, jiggly to the touch feeling. I hate it.

So here I am, over 110 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight. The lightest I have been in about 25 years, and I'm miserable...lmao!!! Don't get me wrong. There are TRULY wonderful things that have happened because of this weight loss. My diabetes is under control. I can fit in a booth. I can walk without losing my breath. I can do more thing with my daughter (we swam together for the first time ever this summer....I never would have done that before. It would still be a dream if I hadn't lost the weight). I have more energy. I'm adding years to my life. I'm healthier than I have EVER been, but there's still fear and sadness. There are many, many other things I'm thankful for but to many to mention...

I'm rambling...I'm sleepy :) So for now I'm going.
I hope everyone have a wonderfilled weekend :)
Peace ^_^V

at 9:27 AM

Ok, here is the German Potato Salad recipe I got from Amy's site too, and it's soooooo good!!!

GERMAN POTATO SALAD

2/3 c vinaigrette dressing
1/4 c dijon mustard
Sweetzfree or 1 TB Splenda
12-16 oz cauliflower
1 c green pepper, chopped
1 c celery, chopped
1/2 c red onion, chopped
Turkey Kielbasa

Mix dressing, mustard, and Splenda in a large bowl and set aside. Cook cauliflower according to package or steam fresh cauliflower. Drain and add to large bowl. Add bell pepper, celery, and onion. Set aside. Grill or cook turkey sausages. Cut into chunks. Add turkey sausage to cauliflower. Top with dressing and toss until evenly coated. Serve warm.

Makes 6 servings

Calories 108.13
Fat 4.94
Carbs 9.53
Fiber 3.28
Protein 7.83
And here's a pic

germanpotatosalad-1.jpg picture by Xainya

I didn't use Splenda, and I used red peper instead of green (I don't like green...lol). It was sooooo YUMMY!!!

__________________

at 9:23 AM

I got this recipe from Amy too :D
She said it was from the South Beach Diet Cookbook.
These are YUMMY so be careful eating them

One thing I would change is wait to put the jelly in the cookies till AFTER you bake the cookies. I change it in the recipe too. They say to bake it with the jelly in it, but it just runs out of the cookie and you can't taste the jelly at all if you do it that way :)

Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies

Sweetzfree OR 3/4 c Splenda
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 c creamy peanut butter
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 c Walden Farms Sugar Free/Calorie Free Jelly (I used Sugar Free Jelly)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a baking sheet with PAM or line with parchment paper. Mix Splenda, egg, and vanilla extract with an electric mixer on low until blended (2-3 minutes). Add peanut butter and baking soda. Mix until it forms a dough (for me, it was about 30 seconds to 1 minute). With a spoon, scoop out a spoonful of dough and form into a ball. Place on baking sheet about 1 inch apart. You should have 24 balls when you are done. Press your thumb into the center of each ball to make a well. Bake 12-14 minutes and then cool. Fill each well with a little bit of jelly. ENJOY!!!

Makes 24 cookies. Serving = 2 cookies

For 2 cookies:

140 calories, 11g fat, 2.5g saturated fat, 6g protein, 7g carbs, 1g fiber

at 12:55 PM

I found this recipe on Jimmy Moore's Boards, and it was pretty tasty. I like the cheese cake pancakes more, but this was good too. I think I will only eat half of it next time :|

Orange Pancakes

Ingredients

1/4 cup Carbquik
1/4 cup Almond Flour
1 egg yolk
1/4 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. Crystal Light Orange Drink, dry mix
water to make your favorite consistency for pancake batter

Directions

Mix all dry ingredients together. Add egg yolk and water to make a nice batter consistency.
Heat a non-stick skillet or griddle to medium. Melt a little butter. Pour batter in to make 3 medium size pancakes. Be careful not to let the skillet get too hot as almond flour burns easily. Cook until bubbles form on top of pancakes (let it get a little more bubbly than a normal pancake) turn and cook until just brown on opposite side.

Number of Servings: 1

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 356.8
Total Fat: 29.5 g
Cholesterol: 220.1 mg
Sodium: 560.5 mg
Total Carbs: 21.9 g
Dietary Fiber: 15.1 g
Protein: 14.8 g

I had 2 pieces of bacon with it but forgot to put them on the plate...lol.
The nutritional facts are just for the pancakes...not the fruit and bacon. It was a great breakfast :D Serena wasn't here, but next time I'll get her to try them. Oh, I tried them with 3 different toppings. Butter, Cream Cheese and Sugar Free Syrup. I liked the butter one the best, but I really think whipped cream on these would be nice!!! They're kinda tangy.

at 3:49 PM

I went to the Dr. last night for my check up. I'm a little upset. Since I have started Atkins my diabetes is GREAT!!! I'm off ALL my diabetes meds, and that was why I started Atkins, to get my diabetes under control....the weight loss has just been a huge bonus. But now, my cholesterol and blood pressure are way to high. The last 3 times they have done blood work. Now, when I went a little over a month ago they put me on ONE high blood pressure med, and that was upsetting. NOW, as of tonight I'm on a second high blood pressure med and Lipitor for my cholesterol. I weighed 350 pounds, I weighed over 300 pounds for 20 years and never had high blood pressure or high cholesterol. Now I have both. Now I'm taking 3 different meds. BLAH!!!
I just don't understand. I thought Atkins helps these things. I eat like I'm suppose to. I don't eat the same things all the time (I'm always cooking and trying new things). I don't live on "bacon and eggs". I just don't get it.
Tomorrow I start the new meds, and I don't want to...I just don't want to.
Oh, and I'm down to 242.5 at home and the Dr.'s. (242.4 on mine). So now I need to figure out what to do about this blood pressure and cholesterol so I can not be taking all these crappy meds

Blaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
I'm depressed and frustrated...

at 7:52 PM

I got this recipe from Amy's site.
She has GREAT recipes!!!
I think this is my new favorite dish :)
YUMMMMY!!! *licks lips*

CHICKEN ADOBO

Ingredients:
1 pound boneless skinless Chicken Breast (or thigh, leg ect.)
½ cup soy sauce (low sodium)
½ cup vinegar
Sweetzfree (a couple drops) or 3 packets Splenda
2 bay leaves
6 peppercorns
3 garlic cloves

Instruction:
Mix soy sauce, vinegar, Sweetzfree and spices. Marinate meat for at least 3 hours. After marinating, put everything in large pan. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Remove lid, stir and continue to cook uncovered until chicken is tender. Liquid should reduce.

at 4:32 PM

I just made something CHOCOLATY GOOD!!!
I got the recipe from Linda's site

As soon as I saw it I ran out and bought Whey Protein Powder...lol!!!
She called it "Chewy Peanut Butter Candy" I call it Chocolate Gooey Goodness because it is...DEELISH!!!

Ingredients

2 tblsp butter
1/4 cup natural chunky peanut butter (or creamy)
Sweetzfree to taste OR 1/4 cup Splenda
1 cup chocolate whey protein powder
1/4 cup Da Vinci SF Vanilla syrup

Directions

* Melt the Butter, and mix with Splenda.
* Add the Peanut Butter to the mix until smooth.
* Mix protein powder until crumbly
* Add SF syrup, and the mix should turn glossy and much easier to form into 2 mini loaf pans
* Freeze mixture for 1 hour, and it should be able to be eaten
I put it into a mini loaf pan and it made 6 bars. You can also add nuts.
I put some toping I had on two of them...YUM!!!

Number of Servings: 6

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 6
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 162.9
Total Fat: 9.9 g
Cholesterol: 22.7 mg
Sodium: 94.8 mg
Total Carbs: 4.2 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.9 g
Protein: 14.2 g

at 7:05 PM

Last night Michael and I were up late and got hungry around 1am so we ate...lol. I made a new recipe from a lowcarb cookbook I just got. I changed it just a little. Anyways it was Tofu French Fries, and we really liked them. Next time I would spray the baking pan because they stuck. I bet it would be good to back them in a glass baking dish next time. I think I'll do that.
I use Low Carb Ketchup on mine...Mmmm!!! The carbs for the Ketchup are not in this recipe.

Here is the recipe and a pic. I'll post it in the recipe section too...

Tofu French Fries

1 12oz container of Firm Tofu, Drained
1 large Egg
1 tblsp Mayonnaise
1 tblsp Dijion Mustard
1/4 tsp Sea Salt
1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
1/2 tsp Paprika
1/2 cup Fresh Grated Parmesan Cheese
1/2 cup Parmesan Cheese (this is what I did different. I used 1/2 cup of the powder Kraft Parmesan Cheese because I thought it would coat it better than just the Fresh Parmesan. If you just use the Fresh, it calls for 1 cup).
Sea Salt
Fresh Ground Pepper

Preheat oven to 400*
Cut the Tofu into long, french fry-like sticks.
In bowl beat egg, mayo, dijion mustard, salt, garlic powder, paprika, and pepper to taste. Spread cheese out on a plate. Mix the 2 parmesans together well.
Add a few of the tofu sticks at a time to egg mixture and roll to coat well. Transfer to cheese plate and roll to coat on all sides. Transfer to greased baking sheet.
Bake for 20 minutes. Then put under broiler for a minute or two to brown on top. Sprinkle with the salt and serve. They taste best when they are hot.

Makes 3 servings
400 Calories
Carbs 7.2
Fiber 2.7
Protien 36
Fat 26.9
NET CARBS 4.5

ENJOY!!!

I ate more than what is in the pic...lmao!!!

at 7:49 PM

Holy Cow!!! I just made a new recipe from Linda's site

It is sooooooooo good!!! It's called "Mom's Crazy Cabbage".
It's my new favorite, and it's soooo easy to make!!!
Here is here recipe and a pic I took...

MOM'S CRAZY CABBAGE
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 small onion, chopped, 2 1/2 ounces
1 small cabbage, coarsely chopped, about 1 pound 13 ounces before trimming *
14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes, undrained
3 strips bacon
Salt and pepper, to taste

Brown the beef and onion; drain off the grease and season with salt and pepper. Put half of the cabbage in the bottom of a greased 9x13" baking dish. Season with salt and pepper. Top with the meat then the remaining cabbage; season again. Pour or spoon the tomatoes evenly over the cabbage and lay the strips of bacon over the top. Cover with foil and bake at 325º for 3 hours. Discard the bacon before serving.

Makes 6 servings

* I figured 1 1/2 pounds after trimming into the carb counts. Don't use a larger cabbage or it won't all fit in the baking dish.

Per Serving: 259 Calories; 15g Fat; 22g Protein; 10g Carbohydrate; 3.5g Dietary Fiber; 6.5g Net Carbs

You guys have to try it. It's really DEEELISH!!!

at 7:02 PM

So here are old and new pics (not my heaviest in the old ones....I think I was about 300 in the before pics). The new pics were just taken tonight!!!

Before

After

Before Side View

After Side View

I still have skinny, muscular bird legs...lol!!!

Last one

at 7:42 AM

Teach Peace

Teach Kindness

Teach Compassion

Teach Understanding

Teach Tenderness

Teach Mindfulness

Teach Thankfulness

Teach Patience

Teach Love

Don't only teach these things...

BE these things...

Be Peaceful

Be Kind

Be Compassionate

Be Understanding

Be Tenderness

Be Mindful

Be Thankful

Be Patient

BE LOVE!!!

That's all I have to say :)
Peace ^_^V

at 6:32 PM

Coconut Fudge is DEEELISH!!! I got this recipe from a girl named "Julie" on another low carb board a few months ago. It melts in your mouth

Coconut Fudge

Ingredients

4 tbsp Coconut oil
2 tbsp Peanut Butter (or other nut butter of your choice)
2 tbsp Cocoa Powder, unsweetened
Sweetzfree or other liquid sweetener to taste (powdered sweetner does not work well).

Directions
Melt Coconut oil and Peanut butter in micro. Add cocoa powder and sweetner. Mix well. Freeze.

Number of Servings: 4

Nutritional Info

* Servings Per Recipe: 4
* Amount Per Serving
* Calories: 175.9
* Total Fat: 18.0 g
* Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
* Sodium: 0.6 mg
* Total Carbs: 3.0 g
* Dietary Fiber: 1.4 g
* Protein: 2.3 g

at 7:21 PM

With Fall right around the corner I thought I'd try to make a Pumpkin Pie :)
I made this crust before, but Michael was allergic to the flaxseed meal so I didn't use it and it turned out great without it. I fiddled around with the pumpkin pie filling and it was really nice too. Anyways, here it is...ENJOY!!!

Niki's Creamy Pumpkin Pie with Pecan Crust

Ingredients

Pecan Pie Crust
3 ounces almond flour, 3/4 cup
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons butter, melted
1/3 cup granular Splenda or equivalent liquid Splenda
1/4 cup of chopped pecans
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

************************************

Pumpkin Pie Filling
15 ounce can pumpkin
2 eggs
8 oz cream cheese
3 tbsp heavy cream
1/2 tbsp pumpkin spice
dash cinnamon
dash nutmeg
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

Directions

Pecan Crust
Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl. Add Splenda to melted butter; pour over dry ingredients. Mix well and spread in 9" pie plate. Bake at 375º about 10-12 minutes until set and lightly browned. Cool, then fill pie.

Pumpkin Pie Filling
Soften cream cheese and put in mixing bowl with all other ingredients. Mix well with blender. Spread out on top of crust. Bake in oven at 350º for 40 minutes or until firm to touch.
Let cool completely before serving.
Add whip cream on top (that is not added into these nutritional facts), and top with pecans if desired.
ENJOY!!!

Number of Servings: 8

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 8
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 318.8
Total Fat: 30.2 g
Cholesterol: 114.2 mg
Sodium: 111.4 mg
Total Carbs: 7.3 g
Dietary Fiber: 3.7 g
Protein: 5.4 g

at 6:12 PM

I went out today with my friend Susanne (she really is a great friend and always so supportive). We went out to some Outlets out here in Commerce. I had never been so it was fun. We went to Lane Bryant and I got a pair of jeans size 20 (they're stretch jeans and a little snug, the 22's were just right, but would be big really soon so I got the smaller), and panties size 18/20 (I've never seen 18/20 before

I thought the 22/24 would be to big since I have no a$$). I still wear my old panties and they are so big it looks like a diaper...lol. Anyways, I'm going to go back and get more when I have more money. And I got a dress at Dress Barn. I've never been to there before. I really don't know when I wore a dress last, but I must have been really young. Anyways, my fat pokes out on the sides OF COURSE. I can't seem to lose my fat back and stomach for crying out loud. I tried it on with a Corset that I have had for about 7 years that has never fit and it helped some. It is a size....

18

WTF!!!

So I got it, cause ummm it kinda fit me...lol. I'm still rolly, and that is really the only problem, and that's just how I am right now and I can only hide so much of it. Michael likes dresses and has never seen me in one...hehe!!! And I got shoes with a skinny heel!!! I always wear the fat thick ones. I'll probably break my neck, but here they are...

The dress goes just below my knee's which is a good thing...scary under there!!! Anyways, I'm kinda excited. I know that if I tried on an 18 anywhere else it wouldn't fit me cause some 22/24 things are still a little snug, but this fit!!! So I had to buy it

Okay, I have a lot to do. Tomorrow I'm working out in the morning and then Susanne and I are going to steam clean my carpets...yuck!!!

I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!!!

at 4:57 PM

Well, I'm still here. Sorry I haven't been around at all :(
My depression has been terrible. I've been going to a depression group the last 3 weeks and see a Dr. next week. Michael has been depressed too and went home early for a visit, and that has been hard. I want to help him, he wants to help me, and we're both a mess. The one thing we're both sure about is how much we love each other.
I'm down to 243 and MY GOD is that depressing. Those saggy skin pictures that I put up are pretty compared to what is happening now. I really can't stand it. I cry over it constantly. I'm scared. I feel disgusting. I can't even put into words how I feel. The only thing I know is that I can't stop losing weight. I have to do this. I have to. I want to be healthy. I love the things I can do now, and how great I feel "physically". I pray every day that a Dr. will help me when I get all this weight off. I could never live with what I'm going to be left with. Having no insurance doesn't help either ::sigh:: I'm not going to give up hope though...it's all I have.

at 4:31 AM

Hi everyone,
Sorry I haven't been on as much. My depression has been much worse. I have gone to the Dr. and go back again today. I actually have to many Dr. appointments if you ask me. I haven't been very talkative. I just don't have much to talk about I guess. I'm around though, and still 100% on plan. It's the first time EVER that I have not turned to food for comfort...not even legal food. Well, today is weigh in for me and I am down 7.4 pounds this week...

249.2

Part of me is excited to be out of the 250's FINALLY, and another part of me really doesn't care. I think a lot of the weight loss this week is water weight from crying...lol. And I have been exercising more. I do need to force more food down. I've always gotten depressed and stuffed myself with food. This time is really different and I am having to force myself to eat. I could never understand people who talked about being depressed and losing their appetite...now I do. I'm still going to the gym here in my building and getting on the bike and treadmill. People say exercise helps depression, but I'm not finding this to be true. I have to force myself to do EVERYTHING. Being Manic-Depressive with anxiety disorder is horrible, and I just hope and pray I feel better soon.

Anyways this is the most I've talked in a month, and it's making my head spin...lol. I hope everyone is well. Pop in and tell me how you all are. Thanks for all the support

at 6:23 PM

Ooooo, I made this tonight and it was DIVINE!!! I found it awhile ago in a low carb cookbook (that I now have to look for and buy once I remember which one it was...lol). The cream, wine, onions and dijon...Mmmm!!! It makes 6 servings, but you can cut it all in half.
Okay here's the recipe...

Pork with Creamy Dijon-Wine Sauce

1.5 pounds of Pork Chops
6 tbsp butter
2 tbsp onion, chopped finely
1/2 cup white wine
1 cup cream
2 tbsp dijon mustard

Cut pork into 2 inch slices, heat 2 tbsp butter in pan.
Cook pork in butter, then remove.
Add onion to pan and cook until soft.
Add wine. Cook 3-4 minutes, until sauce is reduced by half.
Add cream and dijon mustard. Cook until thick, stirring constantly.
Once thick, remove from heat and add remaining butter while still stirring.
Top pork with sauce. (I added pork back into pan, reheated and coated it with the sauce).

ENJOY!!!

Calories 388
Fat 30
Protein 24
Carb 2
Fiber <1

2 NET CARB

ENJOY!!!

at 6:17 PM

Pizza Rats

My daughter LOVED the movie "Ratatouille" so we got the cookbook and found a great recipe that we could have fun making together and both eat (I modified a little so it would be low carb).

Ingredients

1 Flatout Wrap (Serena made hers on an English muffin)
2 tbsp low carb pizza or pasta sauce
1 oz Cheddar cheese
1 oz Mozzarella cheese
2 Olives, black
I slice pepperoni or salami cut into little strips
green onion if desired

Pre-heat oven to 375*
Cut flat wrap into triangles
Put on cookie sheet and cook till crisp (about 5 minutes).
Then add .5 tbsp of sauce to each slice, top with cheese. Use Olive slices for eyes, and salami or pepperoni for whiskers. Put another olive on top of whiskers for nose.
You can also put a slice of green onion in eyes for color.

Cook for 10 minutes. Be careful when removing from cookie sheet because they stick a little. I thought it was the wrap, but it was the cheese, and because they're so thin they can break easily.

ENJOY!!!

Nutritional Facts
1 Serving (the whole thing is one serving)

Calories 370
Fat 23
Carbs 20
Fiber 11
Protein 25

9 NET CARBS Link

There is a video on Youtube HERE

And here are a couple pics

Before cooking

After cooking

at 7:17 PM

Hi all,
I haven't been around as much. I've been in a Depressed Manic episode that I can't seem to shake. Crying for no reason all the time, sleeping a lot (taking naps), panic...the list goes on and on.
We went to a concert Thursday night, and I had such a bad panic attack I had to go sit in a tiny dark corner in the back of the club for 2 LONG hours. I felt so bad, and poor Michael. He's such a sweet heart, and so supportive of me with everything. We WERE in the front, not even a foot away front the bands. I stayed through all of the first band (which I LOVED) then went to the back after. We saw "Tokyo Police Club", "Ra Ra Riot" and "The Futurists". "The Futurists" are from Atlanta, and are playing again here in Athens at the end of August...we may go. I REALLY liked them...I really liked them all. To bad I didn't get to see all of it. Michael got me a "Tokyo Police Club" bag, "Ra Ra Riot" buttons, and "The Futurists" CD

I have been staying on plan, but haven't been exercising at all. I know it's just this depression, but I can't seem to get myself to do ANYTHING. I was exercising at least 4 days a week...now nothing. I'm sure when this passes I'll get right back on it again, but I hate it. And I honestly can't make myself do it. If I could I would. I am glad that I haven't turned to food. What a HUGE change in my life that is. Still cheat free and no binges since February 1st!!!
I am worried about Serena noticing now that she is getting older. All my mood changes, all the ups and downs. MY CRAZINESS!!! Oh well, it'll get better, it always does.

I may make another YouTube video tomorrow with Serena if I can get myself to do it. She LOVES making them, and it's something fun we can do together.

Other than that nothing new here :)
I hope everyone is well!!!

at 7:59 PM

Thank GOD for Linda!!!
If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have come this far. Her recipes are WONDERFUL!!! And there is always something new to make. I never get bored. Thank you so much Linda

Almost everything I cook I get from her site :D

I just made her yummy Coconutty Crunch. It's sooooooo good...OMG!!! I was getting bored with Strawberries and Almonds on my Greek Yogurt. This is PERFECT, and DEEEELISH!!! I did the Maple version. I also didn't have the sunflower seeds, but it's still GREAT!!! The pic isn't very good cause I had to take it with my camera phone...lol. Here is the recipe and pic :)

COCONUTTY CRUNCH
2 ounces walnuts
4 ounces pecans
2 ounces almonds (I like sliced)
2 ounces unsweetened coconut, 1/2 cup
2-4 tablespoons flax meal
1-2 ounces unsalted sunflower kernels
2 tablespoons butter, melted
Sweetzfree or 1/3 cup granular Splenda
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Pinch salt, optional
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Coarsely chop the nuts; put in a medium bowl. Stir in the coconut, flax meal and sunflower kernels. In a small bowl, mix the butter, sweetener, vanilla and salt. Pour over the nuts and toss to mix well. Spread on a large jelly roll pan and bake at 300º about 10-15 minutes, stirring every few minutes, until lightly toasted. Watch closely so it doesn't burn. Mix in the cinnamon; cool. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

***MAPLE NUT VARIATION:
Use 1-2 teaspoons maple extract, in place of the vanilla, and increase sweetener slightly to taste. Omit cinnamon. Don't try using more extract or it will become bitter.***

Makes about 3 1/2 cups or 13 ounces
Can be frozen

With granular Splenda:
Per 1/4 cup: 182 Calories; 18g Fat; 4g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 3g Dietary Fiber; 2g Net Carbs
Per 2 tablespoons: 95 Calories; 9g Fat; 2g Protein; 3g Carbohydrate; 1.5g Dietary Fiber; 1.5g Net Carbs

With liquid Splenda:
Per 1/4 cup: 180 Calories; 18g Fat; 4g Protein; 4g Carbohydrate; 2.5g Dietary Fiber; 1.5g Net Carbs
Per 2 tablespoons: 93 Calories; 9g Fat; 2g Protein; 2g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 1g Net Carb

at 10:21 AM

Wow!!! I have been eating like a PIGGY. I ate a little over 2000 calories yesterday*DIES* (honestly I eat to little calories people say...usually between 1400-1600, but that seems like a lot to me. So to go over 2000 is really a lot to me), and 30 carbs (YAY, I hit 30 carbs!!!). I just want to eat and eat and eat and eat lately. I'm not sure if it's depression, hunger, just in the mood to eat, WHAT??? I can't figure it out. I've been really tired lately too. I have no energy. I don't want to do anything but lay in bed. It feels like depression. What I'm finding hard is figuring out REAL hunger and emotional eating. Esp. lately. I am manic-depressive and have anxiety disorder. I don't know. I just feel shitty. I hate eating so much. I still want to eat. It's crazy.
One good thing is NO CHEATS!!! I'm still 100% on program and I won't stray, no matter what...NO MATTER WHAT!!!

at 7:48 PM

I made these tonight and I liked them. I wanted to put frosting on them...lmao!!! Can you guys tell I like REALLY sweet stuff

I got the recipe from Linda's site. I put in my own ingredients and counts into a recipe program and came out with different numbers then her. I was also only able to make 12 small cookies (she made 20...not sure how cause mine were small). Anyways, here it is with a pic, and the Nutritional facts

COCONUT CRISPS

1 ounce almond flour
2 ounces unsweetened coconut
1/8 teaspoon salt
Sweetzfree or 2 tablespoons granular Splenda (if you use Splenda add the carbs).
1/8 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg white

Mix all ingredients well in a small bowl. Everything should be moist and the dough should hold together. Drop dough by teaspoons onto baking sheet. Roll each piece of dough into a ball and flatten in your hands to make cookie shape.
Makes 12 cookies
Bake at 325º for 15-20 minutes, or until golden brown. You want them nice and brown, but don't let them get too dark or they'll taste burnt. It's ok for the centers to be a bit lighter than the outer edges, but they should not be pale.

Number of Servings: 12
Nutritional Info (per 1 Coconut Crisp)

Servings Per Recipe: 12
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 19.5

Total Fat: 1.5 g
Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
Sodium: 0.4 mg
Total Carbs: 0.8 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.4 g
Protein: 0.6 g

I ate them with coffee and it was really tasty

I ate to many though

at 8:05 PM

Most probably don't even think about this, but OMG, I can see the seat inbetween my legs when I sit in a chair or in the car. I could never see it before.

The other day I sat on the bed, bent my knees up, crossed my legs and wrapped my arms around them O_O I could never do that before.

I can cross my legs now. ALL THE WAY!!! Not just rest my foot on the top of my knee, but really cross my leg!!!

I don't go out to eat except maybe once a month now (it use to be at least 2x a day), but when I do I noticed I don't have the PANIC over them seating us in a booth. God I hated that so much. Wondering how tight it was going to be. Panicking over how uncomfortable I was going to be for the next hour or so. Sometimes I would just look at a booth and know I was going to have to squeeze myself in and then I would worry the WHOLE time about how the hell I was going to get myself up and out.

I walk fast...lol. I use to walk so slow. Like a turtle. I walk at a fast pace now, and don't get out of breath like I use to. I don't DREAD having to park far away now. Weird.

So many changes. So many things to be thankful for. So many things NOT to forget...so, so many.

at 3:55 PM

Hi all,
Have I ever told you how much cooking, and making new dishes TRULY helps keep me motivated and on this WOE??? It really does. I never get bored. I LOVE it!!!
I made this today for the first time and it was REALLY good.
I reminded me a lot of the "Just like stuffed baked potatoes" recipe which is also good

I got the recipe off of Linda's site
If anyone makes this any differently let me know.
I didn't put in the green onion. I bought it, but just decided not to put it in.

Here it is...

Mockafoni and Cheese

16 ounce bag frozen cauliflower
4 ounces cream cheese
2 tablespoons heavy cream or low carb milk
4 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded
2 green onions, finely chopped
1 teaspoon minced chives, optional
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1/2 teaspoon pepper, or to taste
2 ounces cheddar cheese, shredded

Cook the cauliflower until tender; drain well. In a 1 1/2 quart casserole; soften cream cheese in microwave about 30-40 seconds on HIGH. Whisk in cream until smooth, then stir in 4 ounces cheddar cheese. Microwave on MEDIUM about 2-3 minutes or until cheese is melted. Stir well until creamy and smooth, microwaving a little longer if necessary. Stir in the green onions, chives, salt and pepper. Add the cauliflower and gently fold into cheese sauce to coat well. Adjust seasonings if needed. Top with remaining 2 ounces cheese and bake at 350º for 35 minutes, until bubbly and brown on top.

Makes 4-6 servings

Per 1/4 Recipe: 326 Calories; 27g Fat; 15g Protein; 8g Carbohydrate; 3g Dietary Fiber; 5g Net Carbs

Per 1/6 Recipe: 217 Calories; 18g Fat; 10g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 3g Net Carbs

It could have been a little browner on top, but it was still DEEELISH!!!

at 1:19 PM

I just made this (I've never made any kind of fried chicken before), and it was so good that Michael even ate it...lol. That says A LOT!!! I just threw some ingredients together and WhaLah!!! Here's what I came up with...

Niki's Coconut Fried Chicken

INGREDIENTS
3/4 to 1 lb Chicken Breast, Boneless, Skinless
1 egg
2 tbsp Coconut Flour
2 tbsp Parmesan Cheese
1 tsp McCormick Original Chicken Seasoning
Oil
Salt and Pepper (if desired)

DIRECTIONS
In one bowl beat egg. In another bowl mix, Coconut flour, Parmesan cheese, and McCormick Original Chicken Seasoning. Dip each piece of chicken into egg then coat with Coconut flour mixture. Put in heated frying pan with oil. Fry for 10-20 minutes (depends on how big chicken pieces are). When finished you can eat it plain, or dip it in hot wing sauce and serve with blue cheese dressing. The nutritional info is without the hot wing sauce and blue cheese dressing.

I tried one piece dipped in Franks Hot Sauce with a little butter melted into it, and the other piece I ate plain. They were both DELICIOUS!!! Next time I may add a little more of the McCormick Original Chicken Seasoning.

Makes 3 4oz servings.

Nutritional Info
Servings Per Recipe: 3
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 389.3
Total Fat: 29.9 g
Cholesterol: 135.9 mg
Sodium: 436.1 mg
Total Carbs: 3.6 g
Dietary Fiber: 2.0 g
Protein: 32.9 g

2 NET CARBS

Cooking

DONE!!!

at 1:01 PM

OMGOSH!!! I just made the YUMMIEST Pancakes!!!
My friend got the recipe from a lowcarb cookbook and they are THE BEST.
The only problem I had with them was flipping them, as you will see from my pics...lmao!!! BUT, even in a big pile of mush they are DIVINE!!! Oh, one other problem O_O I ate TO MUCH!!! I cut the recipe in half (which is what I am posting) and it was close to 600 calories PLUS the butter. I can't think about it!!! Anyways, next time I will cut this recipe in half again. It makes 6 pancakes...SIX...I ate 6 pancakes!!! *faints* Well here it is...BEWARE!!!
They're only 5 NET CARBS for the whole thing though!!! Oh, and the butter is extra calories so be sure to add those in *sigh*

Nutrition Facts

1 Serving (2 servings would cut everything in half which is what I SHOULD have done).
Amount Per Serving
Calories 582
Fat 52
Cholesterol 545
Carb 7
Fiber 2
Protein 22

5 NET CARB

Cheesecake Pancakes

Ingredients
2 large eggs
4 oz Cream Cheese
Sweetzfree (to taste) or Splenda
.5 tsp Cinnamon, ground
1 tbsp Flax Seed Meal (ground flax)

DIRECTIONS
Place the egg whites in a separate bowl and beat with electric mixer until stiff peaks appear.
Place the cream cheese in a large bowl and beat with the mixer until smooth. Beat in the egg yolks and the the sweetner, cinnamon, salt and flaxseed meal. Fold in the egg whites.
Heat large heavy fry pan over meduim low heat. Grease lightly with butter. Form pancakes using about 1/4 cup of the batter for each pancake. Cook until golden brown, about 2-3 minutes each side. Don't rush these- if you cook them on too high of a tempature, the butter will burn.

Can be served with Butter, Fruit, Whipped Cream...whatever you like. They're great plain!!! I had a hard time flipping them without them falling apart, but they're still GOOD!!!

Cooking

My first attempt...lmao

My second attempt and only one came out...lol

at 8:35 PM

Serena and I just made another video. We made the Berry muffin recipe I made up. We made them with Strawberries, but they were better with raspberries I thought. Anyways here it is...

Oh.2.B.Fit on YouTube making muffins

at 11:48 AM

Oh.2.B.Fit

Okay, I made a video...GOD HELP ME!!!
I look like hell!!! :D
I need to figure out how to lose my FAT BACK!!!
Anyone know any good exercises. It's where I carry A LOT of my weight :( I hate it.
The video was 10 minutes to long so we had to cut a lot out....sorry if it's choppy. It was my first cooking video attempt...lol. I even spill food into my recipe box *rolls eyes*
I've never been a cook :) I may make one tonight of the muffins (I'm making them with strawberries this time).

OH, and I was down 7.4 pounds today!!!
I'm finally in the 250's!!!
259.6 to be exact *winks at PJ* :)
I'm off to go talk to the College to see if I can go back to school. I'll bb later though.
Hope everyone is having a great day!!!
Peace ^_^V

Oh.2.B.Fit on YouTube

at 3:29 PM

Hi everyone!!!
I just made the YUMMIEST muffins!!! And they came out to only 2 net carbs each!!!
I was bored so I went in the kitchen and just started throwing things together. I'm in a creative mood today

lol
Anyways, here is what I came up with...
Oh a quick P.S. there is a great recipe site that you can put in all the ingredients and it will save your recipe and give you the nutritional facts.
Recipe Box
That's how I figure out the nutritional info. Anyways here it is (can you tell I like naming things after myself...lmao)...

Niki's Berry Cream Muffins

Ingredients
2oz raspberries (or other berries of your choice)
1 cup almond flour
1/4 cup flax seed meal
4oz softened cream cheese
1tsp baking powder
1tbsp oil
1/4 cup ricotta cheese
1tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

Directions
Pre heat oven to 425*
Crush raspberries. Then mix all ingredients well in large mixing bowl. Once mixed, grease muffin tin.
Distribute batter evenly into 12 muffin cups. Bake at 425* for 10 minutes.

I tried it with butter and with cream cheese. It tastes best with butter

Number of Servings: 12

Nutritional Info

Servings Per Recipe: 12
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 128.1

Total Fat: 11.1 g
Cholesterol: 48.9 mg
Sodium: 81.6 mg
Total Carbs: 3.8 g
Dietary Fiber: 2.0 g
Protein: 4.8 g

2 NET CARBS!!!

at 7:04 PM

I'm home and I'm cooking :)
I got this recipe on line (I'm not that creative...lol).
OMG, it's soooooo good!!!
I ate it with a chunk of iceberg lettuce with Blue Cheese dressing on top.
It looks a little gross, but Oooo it's DEEEEELISH!!!

MEXICAN SPINACH & HAMBURGER CASSEROLE
1 pound ground beef
1/2 medium onion, chopped, 2 ounces
10 ounce package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well-drained
8 ounce cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons Seasoning for Tacos
10 ounce can Ro-tel tomatoes, drained (diced tomatoes with green chiles)
1/4 cup canned sliced pickled jalapeños
Salt and pepper, to taste

Brown the hamburger and onion; drain fat. Put in a greased 2 1/2-quart casserole along with all remaining ingredients. Mix well and bake at 350* for about 40 minutes or until bubbly and browned on top.

I cooked mine for 20 minutes and it was already getting really brown, so it's best to watch it.
Also I mixed everything together in the frying pan before I put it in the casserole dish.

Makes 6-8 servings
Can be frozen

Per 1/6 Recipe: 315 Calories; 25g Fat; 17g Protein; 6g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 4g Net Carbs
Per 1/8 Recipe: 236 Calories; 19g Fat; 13g Protein; 5g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 4g Net Carbs

at 2:26 PM

Hi everyone!!!
I'll be gone from today, Friday July 6th till Saturday July 14th. We're headed off to The Outer Banks in N. Carolina for some fun at the beach. Michael and his family go every year and have asked me to go for the past 2 years, but I haven't been able to. This year I'm going, and Serena too :)
I'm not bringing my scale. I'm just going to wait and see what I'm at once I get back home. Yesterday I was up .2oz but I think it was water weight from all that Soy Sauce O_O I didn't eat enough for it to be "real" fat weight. So we shall see next weekend.
I'm nervous and excited about the beach (really I'm scared, and not sure if I'll wear shorts or my suit). I'll take lots of pics. Good luck everyone. Be back soon :)
Peace ^_^

at 8:25 PM

I found this recipe online and it was DEEELISH!!!

Homemade Egg Rolls

2 large eggs
1 cup Cabbage (or a half cup...it's up to you. I used the packaged coleslaw)
Soy Sauce, low sodium (to taste...I used about a table spoon)
1 tsp olive oil
5 Spice (optional...it's a spice in the Asian section, but you don't need it at all)
1 tsp Hot Mustard, Chinese style

Heat a little olive oil in frying pan. Throw in cabbage and splash of Soy Sauce. Add pinch of 5 spice if desired. Cook cabbage down. Beat 2 eggs

Pour into another greased frying pan. Make it like an omelet. Once cooked lay egg on a plate, and put cabbage mixture in it. Roll up. Cut in half. Serve with Hot Mustard and or Soy Sauce. Enjoy!!!

Before I rolled it...

After...

Did I tell you it was DEEEELISHHH!!!

Nutritional Facts

259 Calories
17 g. Fat
9 Carbs
2 Fiber
14 protein
7 NET CARBS

The carbs are a little less if you use less cabbage, and if you don't use the Hot Mustard. The Hot Mustard I used is 1 carb per teaspoon. Also if you like it a little sweet with the salty you can add a little Sweetzfree or a little Splenda to the egg.

at 6:07 PM

OMG, this was SOOOO good!!!
I found it on Amy's site, but a lot of low carbers talk about sweetening up ricotta cheese.
It's good with a little cocoa powder too :)
I say that about everything

This is now my favorite treat.
As you can see I like sweet stuff...lol.
I'm use to Ricotta cheese in Lasagna, not in a desert, and certainly not with sweetner in it

If you've never had this you have to try it.

Raspberry Dream

1/4 cup Ricotta Cheese (3 carbs)
1oz Raspberries or another berry of choice (1.5 carbs)
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

ENJOY!!!

at 11:25 AM

First I want to thank everyone who has been coming and comment on my blog. It has been helping me so much, and it helps me to feel not so alone in all this. Thank you EVERYONE!!! It helps and means more to me than you know :)

On an Atkins board Julie posted a great recipe and I made it last night. She called it "Strawberry Salad" but to me it was more like a Strawberry pie or shortcake. I really liked it. If I had blueberries I would have put them on top. Then it would have been Red, White and Blue for the 4th of July. It would make a great dessert for a day like today or any summer day :) I changed a couple things like I made it 8 servings instead of 4. If you make it 4 servings just double the nutritional facts for each serving. She also used some coconut flour, but I didn't have any so I used all Almond flour. I also added Sweetzfree (or splenda) to the crust mixture just because I like things really sweet. Some people don't so it's up to you. Here's the recipe and pic...

Strawberry Salad

BERRY SAUCE
1/2 16 oz. carton of strawberries, cut into quarters
1 packet of knox gelatine
1 cup water
red food coloring
Sweetzfree or Splenda to taste

CRUST
1/2 cup plus 1 oz of almond flour
2 tbsp butter, melted
Sweezfree or a little Splenda to taste

1/2 16 oz. carton of strawberries, cut into quarters
4 oz. cream cheese
1/4 c. heavy cream

1) Pour water into a saucepan empty contents of gelatine envelope into water. Let stand 1 minute. Put 1/2 the strawberries into the water, bring to a boil, and boil for ten minutes. Add sweetzfree or splenda, and red food coloring. Remove from heat and pour into a bowl to chill in the freezer.

2) While berries are boiling, combine melted butter, and almond flour. Press mixture into the bottom of greased small loaf pan (I use a little pam butter spray). Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes, or until browned.

3) Soften cream cheese in the microwave for one minute. Add a few drops of Sweetzfree or Splenda, mix, then spread cheese carefully over cooled crust in pan. Top cream cheese layer with remaining fresh strawberries.

4) Once strawberry sauce is cooled, pour over finished layers in the dish. Put in the refrigerator to cool until firm.

5) Top with heavy cream that has been whipped until fluffy (sweeten if desired).

Makes 8 servings.

Each serving:
170 calories
16g fat
6g carbs
2.5g fiber
2.5g protein
3g NET CARBS

at 1:11 PM

Hi all,
On Thursday I had weigh in and was down .6 so now I am 270 exactly!!!
It seems over the last couple weeks my weight loss has slowed down a bit. I'm still losing so I'm happy :)

Yesterday I went to my friend, Adena's house. Actually it is someone I met on an Atkins board =) I had a GREAT time!!! She made us the best dinner!!! The one thing I REALLY loved was the salad. I just made it. Here it is...

Caprese Salad

Basil, fresh (2 leaves or more if you like)
Tomato (4 oz)
Mozzarella Whole Milk Cheese (1 oz)
Olive oil (or Italian dressing...I used Newman's Own Olive oil & Vinegar. 1 carb for 2 tbsp. I only used 1 tbsp. Adena got me hooked!!!)
Coarse Salt to taste

The total was 5.5 carbs for the whole thing and 177 calories.
It was DEEEELISH!!! And something really pretty to serve for friends and family :)

at 4:25 PM

I went to lunch with a friend I haven't seen in about a year. She wanted to go to the Olive Garden...God help me. I didn't stray. All I had was the grilled chicken (they say it is grilled with Italian herbs, olive oil and lots of grilled zucchini and yellow squash (I ate it all...I ate half there, and then finished it when I got home....why??? Who knows). I didn't eat any salad or bread sticks, and I only had water to drink

We use to work together (we worked together for over a year). We were at the Olive Garden for 2 hours, and nothing. She didn't notice all the weight I've lost, neither did her husband. I feel terrible. I want someone to notice. Not someone that KNOWS I am doing this...someone that doesn't know...I just want someone to say something, anything. I'm still a very big girl, I know this, but there has to be some spot on this body that you can see it is smaller (my face mostly). I even sat in a way that my collar bones would stick out (Honestly that is just sad!!!). I've never been able to do that before. I don't know. What is upsetting too is that I can't tell either. Honestly, I really can't. I stand and stare in the mirror with old pics, and I still see that big fat girl exactly the same.
My mood lately has been blah. I haven't been cooking like I use to. I don't feel excited about anything like I did. More, and more what I do see is a body that has been abused for far to many years, and will never be what I want. I'm happy my diabetes is better more than anything. I'm happy I have more energy than I use to.
I'm happy that I'm adding years back to my life (I think!!!). I'm happy I have a great man that ALWAYS supports and loves me no matter what. I'm happy that I have such a wonderful daughter that I wished for my whole life...I wished for her on every falling star, and every birthday when I blew out the candles...my wish was always for Serena

Well, enough of all that. It's just a little disappointing. I'm NOT stopping this WOL. I'm pressing forward, an never looking back. I'm just depressed is all...WHOOPY!!!

Oh, I had Michael do a new side by side. The last one is from today...

at 7:24 PM

Well, I had a really nice day. I can't believe it's over, and it's back to work tomorrow *sigh*
We went swimming for almost 2 and a half hours. It was great. Then I went and got a few things from the store. Oh, I got this really yummy chicken from the deli. It's from Boar Head and it's "Blazing Buffalo Style Roasted Chicken Breast. It's VERY good!!! AND it has zero carbs. They had a booklet that listed all the nutritional info for Boar Head so I grabbed a couple. So helpful. Oooo, and I had their "Pepperoni" as having zero carbs...it has ONE...so I have been eating more carbs than I thought...lol.
For dinner I marinated chicken breast to make Tandoori Chicken which was DEEELISH!!! Dinner was yummy, and I had my chicken with a really nice salad...Mmmmm!!! For desert I had a piece of lc cheese cake with a glass of Calorie Countdown Chocolate Milk (it only has 4 carbs and is really good. I've only had it a couple of times).
Now I'm sleepy. I have to get up EARLY to be to work by 6am...blah!!! But that just means I'll be home early.
Michael just got his plane ticket yesterday to go home for a visit. He goes home every few months to visit his family (he's from Delaware). He is usually gone 10-14 days...this time he'll be gone for 12 days...to long

Last time I was scared. I had only been doing Atkins for not even 2 months and was afraid to be alone with food. I'm not scared this time. That's such a good sign for me.
Well, I am off to relax and get some sleep. Have a wonderful week (who ever is in here...lol)

Oh, and here is the cheese cake I made. I think I like the "No bake Cheese Cake" more, but this one is REALLY good too!!! It makes 12 servings so I put them in a muffin tin with a raspberry on top.

Dom's Cheesecake
Induction friendly...

8 oz heavy whipping cream
8 oz cream cheese - softened
8 oz sour cream
1/2 cup splenda
1 tsp vanilla
Lemon Extract (optional)

Whip the heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Set asside
Mix the rest of the ingredients until smooth. Fold in the whipped cream.

This makes 12 servings at 3 net carbs per serving.

You can add a few sliced strawberries or some blackberries or blueberries on top (add the carbs).

at 7:45 PM

I sat here forever trying to think of something for dinner. I bought two small roman tomatoes yesterday and decided to try to make something with them. I had it for dinner, but it would also be a GREAT side dish

I had some ricotta cheese so I thought I would try stuffing them. This is what I came up with...

Niki's Cheese Stuffed Tomatoes

2 small tomatoes - 4oz (4 carbs)
4 tblsp of ricotta cheese ( 3 carbs)
1 tsp Italian seasoning (0 carbs)
1 tblsp Parmesan Cheese (0 carbs)
salt and pepper
1 oz swiss cheese (0 carbs...mine says 0 but you may want to make it 1 carb to be safe)

I cut the tomatoes in half and removed the middle. The I mixed in a small bowl the Ricotta, Italian Seasoning, Parmesan Cheese, salt and pepper. I stuffed the tomatoes then placed a small piece of swiss on top of each piece (mozzarella would be really nice too). I broiled them for 5-7 minutes, until cheese is a little brown and bubbly.
ENJOY!!!

I took a pic, but it was with a camera phone so it's a little blurry.
Here it is anyway...

at 10:55 AM

I haven't been on much lately...life has been busy!!!
Today is weigh in for me though and I was down 4 pounds this week!!!
I am at 271.2!!! Ooooo, so close to those 260's...sooooooooo close!!!
I don't know why I'm so excited about them, but I am :)
I have been swimming again with Serena, and yesterday I got REALLY sunburned!!!
It's killing me and kept me up most of the night.
As soon as I hit 269 I'm going to have Michael take some new pics.

Okay, I'm bouncing around and rambling about nothing...lol!!!
Peace ^_^V
Niki

at 5:37 PM

In April I started swimming. It was hard. I have NEVER EVER swam with my daughter Serena :(
I feel like I have let my weight hold me back from so much...esp. with her.
The first time we went swimming was AMAZING!!!
Here is a picture of the 2 of us swimming together for the first time in April. I framed the pictures we took...lol. It was fun. No one was there which was nice. I don't think I ever would have jumped in if there were people there. We were swimming a few days a week. Someone even sent me a bathing suit. I haven't had a bathing suit since I was 10 years old. I wore it a couple of times, but was so uncomfortable and embarrassed. I mostly went in a t-shirt and shorts. Serena didn't care. She was just happy I was there. These days the pool is crowded. All college kids, so we haven't been going. I feel so bad. I hope one day she understands. We did exercise today though. My friend from work, Susanne, came over with a DVD called "Walk Away the Pounds" I loved it. Serena did it too. We are going to do it again tomorrow and Friday. I can't wait. I walked a mile and a half, and I didn't hate it...lol. It really went by fast and I worked up a huge sweat. I have a million exercise DVD's and I can never get into them...this was very different.
Anyways, I'm excited. I feel good. I do think this is the first week since I started Atkins in February that I haven't lost weight. I'll know tomorrow. I'm trying not to be disappointed. Well, I will have an update tomorrow :)
Peace ^_^V

Yesterday was a busy day. Serena wanted to go to the Strawberry Farm (and she's sick now), because we couldn't go last weekend (because I was sick) so I took her. We had a GREAT time. We picked 2 buckets of strawberries. One for our house and one that she could give to her dad. OMG, I ate SO many strawberries yesterday. So of course I got on the scale first thing this morning. I didn't gain!!! I lost a few ounces...AMAZING!!! Really I must have eaten 40 of them

When I was cleaning them to freeze I just kept shoving them in my face. Fresh strawberries are the best!!! I had some on cottage cheese for breakfast this morning...so good!!! Anyways it was fun. My legs were getting soooo shaking from all the walking, and bending...so out of shape!!! I am excited for the black berries to be ready for picking. I'm a city girl so picking berries at a farm is new to me. I was like a little kid out there

We went to the Watkinsville farm and it was pretty close to us. I have been there once before. When we first moved her we went (Serena, my ex, his mom and dad) to get a pumpkin. I remember being so mad (mostly because I was in Georgia) and because I had to go on a Hay Ride...lol. I didn't remember that was where we went until Serena and I got there yesterday.

After that she went to a Birthday Party. It was a lot of fun. It was at a bead shop, and all the kids made a bracelet. They had HUGE chocolate cupcakes...HUGE!!! The whole room smelt like milk chocolate for 30 minutes. Now, I am not one of those people who doesn't want chocolate just because I smell it...I WANT IT!!! Chocolate still smells and looks WONDERFUL to me. I don't crave it, but OMG I would have loved to have a bite of that. The smell alone made me crazy. It reminds me a lot of when I smoked pot. Before Serena I was a HUGE pot head. I have been clean for 7 and a half years now. But once a druggy, always a druggy. I still think about it. I still want it, but I can't and I wont. If I see it on TV I want it...just like being around the chocolate yesterday. I really believe overcoming all these things with food is so much like overcoming my drug addiction. Food is a little harder only because you can't just stop eating. Every single day you have to make important choices.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

HEY, before I forget I just ordered SweetzFree!!! Today is the day it went up for sale again. I was waiting right at 8am...lol. I only ordered the 1 oz bottle. If I like it I'll order more

I'm thinking I can keep the little bottle in my purse which would be nice.

Well, another busy day for

OH.2.B.FIT

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday, September 07, 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Monday, December 01, 2008

Friday, November 28, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008

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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

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Friday, August 08, 2008

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Friday, July 25, 2008

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Friday, July 18, 2008

Ingredients

Directions

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Monday, July 07, 2008

Friday, July 04, 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I love Dr. Jonny Bowden, and he had a blog today I thought some of you may like to read :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sugar Addiction

Friday, May 16, 2008

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Creamy Cinnamon Buttons

Ingredients

Directions

Friday, May 02, 2008

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Friday, April 25, 2008

INGREDIENTS:

Directions:

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Ingredients

Directions

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Ingredients

Directions

Friday, February 01, 2008

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Monday, January 21, 2008

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Ingredients

Directions

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007